oh dear...

its been a while.
sorry.
im so up and down at the moment, my life is like a flight to hobart, one hour, ten trips a day, up, down, sideways, bumpy, soaring (enough with the analogy)... i think (know) its tiring to the people around me.

on friday night i worked til 4am. and went and banged (beeped) on the door of my love and slept. i woke to pancakes (under my onlooking instruction) and constant encouragement.
amidst the 'i cant do this' (re: uni deadline) blurry tears i got so many smiles, maple syrup and encouragement. just the right amounts of stern looks and sympathy

this is how i still exist.
people out there still have faith in me... and they love me (though im sure im trying them...) ... and that is what matters.

the cafe that murray and i (we are calling ourselves i-i) have designed is currently being built. its the first time anything that i have designed has been built without being overseen. its an amazing feeling. and nerve wracking. the rest of the project is nearly drawn...
and the cafe will be made, done, dusted, glittering, [all with flattering light so you can have dates there] and ready in 4-6weeks. see you there for ten coffees all summer.

my project is good. its a little undercooked and a little overwrought, but its good. just good though not excellent. on friday i sat at the computer with two helpers, holding back the breakdown and staring absently for 18hours. its hard. ive had enough. 7 years of architecture is too long. hanging over my head like a saggy kite with no wind.

my other projects include, a vintage clothing business and website under construction. we have been buying stock, washing, cleaning, making tags, making stamps, sorting, photographing, playing dress ups and generally having so much fun. im doing that with my friend Karen. we start on ebay this week, its a little rough but still excellent and our site will be up in Jan. and will be FANtastic. we are called Lalka & Prince.

um. thats all.

been doing a drawing a day to keep the blues away. i like drawing animals at the moment... this is a nice one...




lovelovelovelove.

p.s. its a coyote not a wolf.

why is it taking me so long to decide what to wear today?!

one month

things that have happened in the last month:

i have fallen in love
i have started a business in vintage clothing
i have learnt the value of garage sale'in in brighton/elsternwick
i have learnt that i too easily and quickly try to fix old hurts and it doesnt work that well
i have become more honest to myself
i have learnt that no matter how hard i try i am too easily tempted by pretty things and as a result never have any money
i have lost all interest in university
i have designed a cafe (with murray)
i have done the best drawings of my life, of little animals
i have learnt that what little i do know about music is a scratch on the surface of a hair on an ape
i have become more anxious about finishing the year and generally more anxious
i have learnt to accept compliments a little easier
i have learnt that next to most people i am insanely domesticated and this scares some people quite a bit...

i turn 25 in approximately 3 weeks.

scary. and im going to be a bridesmaid.

hope you are well blobbers.
where did the year go?

cluck

our house is turning into a reagular menagerie... we have a rabbit and fish, which is highly normal. our downstairs neighbour has two snakes, slippery and judy, and two tropical parrots ruby and max.

now we are getting two chickens.

bill, our downstairs neighbour, has a friend who breeds chickens and we are going to have some...

i cant wait to have fresh eggs... and little chickens clucking about. saving up eggs for a cake will be the best part of my week.

lovelovelovelove


p.s. Q&A re: blogging ettiquite. are you responsible for the feelings of the people who read your blog? how do you negate expressing your feelings? do you censor your blog to make people who may read it happy?
the days are glorious dont you think? and the nights are cold.
but clear.
i was sad when i woke this morning and there were grey clouds and wind... little did i know that it would clear to become beautiful later...

the view is delightful... deee-lightful. and i am decidedly chipper. happy little vegemite even. rosy cheeks and vegemite in the corners of my mouth (actually im not really into vegemite)
ive been getting cups of tea and sunshine on the back steps, and though i am procrastinating from the eminent doom of school i am really happy about everything else.

some money is coming my way. sometimes i think there really is someone looking after me. above, or maybe its all here. there are people looking after me here. not in some esoteric after 'above' world but right here and now.

just when you think you are going to die of all things money related there is an almightly job offer and a little money comes your way. it somehow always happens this way.

its just lucky i guess.

this week also marks the return of regular meals, the return of my 'special needs' diet (no gluten or dairy) and the return of dinner club (of which i am president). getting paid means a nastily large trip to coles to buy all the things that are dwindling and to buy the very best trolley full from the meditteranean grocer. plus a market shop for exceptional seasonal veggies, eg. asparagus! this makes me happy.

this week: week of food.

plus after a brief break (well maybe not brief) WAYDT is back. after a year of servicing the melbourne cuties...

so stay tuned for some recepies, and general fun things to do.

im off to read the paper on the tram and pay my late rent!

lovelovelovelove

what a week

im working more that i had hoped and neglecting school and getting nervous
and im crossing a river everyday and reading the paper every morning on the tram (so i miss the crossing of the river bit) and elbowing people and getting shirty at tram inspectors.
im walking around staring at all the toorak trash, and buying coffees, feeling like im on top of things a little more.
im getting sad about reminiscence, and getting angry about sudden turnarounds, and getting frustrated cause i need to do washing. in my case today, neccessity bred invention, and im not too worried about my outfit. the dark depths of the wardrobe came up with a spring favourite or two.
im missing the steam from my mouth but i know its coming back next week, and im enjoying the heat the sun makes on my black clothes in south yarra streets.
ive started carrying a comb around with me, a little black one.

ive stopped crying.

i have too much on. i want to start a small business, i want to op shop all day long, i want to illustrate and photograph and paint. i want to make buildings too.

but for now ill hide in the corners of the south yarra tree lined back streets and make some money drawing south side homes...

tonight: there is an opening at platform, and if you read the paper on the tram today like i did, there is a great and funny article on juliana ACCA.

have a nice sunny day while it lasts

lveolovelvovleovelovlove

too big to remember

my weekend was too big.
too big to remember exactly what it was i did, exactly what was it that i did for four days.
lets see.
wednesday, i didnt sleep... because on thursday, i had a presentation in front of boy architects talking about this and that...train stations and suburbs... but all i really wanted to talk about was this:















why dont blind people play the accordian on trains anymore? and why dont people wear hats on trains anymore? and why do i procastinate by doing things like decorating my mouse pad?:















...then because i hadnt slept and hadnt eaten cause i had a presentation- i had beer.
and then because i hadnt eaten, and i hadnt had sleep and i had beer- i got drunk.

friday i slept. friday night i went to see some famous japanese architect talk about their funky houses that have sweeping forms and big ceilings. their designs are purely forms built around regualtions and they are beautiful.
then on friday night i had more beer. and what tasmanians call 'pyjamas'. aka spaghetti and cheese jaffles.
saturday i slept. and lazed about. alllll day. trying not to think about all the projects i suddenly have.
saturday i had a beautiful thai dinner in the nicest house in melbourne. miss karen cooked up a storm. then off to party, too many bottles of wine to myself later i was dancing and there were drunken boys falling on me left right and centre.
sunday i slept.

and all this culminated in the most delicious cherry and almond pie i have ever made!






























and so now after all that party-ing and pie eating i feel like a wind-up toy, an steam train tin wind up toy, all ready to go! ready to jump in and start designing my thesis project....

yours truly
until sleep club resumes,
lovelovelove

i want to live on 'cocoa jackson lane', brunswick....

hey, brunette... on the blue bike... sexy lady (elizabeth st, 00:00)

when i was five i had a crush on a boy who was extremely cute. Adam. I remember I liked him because he was cute, agile (good at jumping from bench to bench in the plyaground) and his name started with A. I thought that was a good sign.

when i was seven i had my second most biggest crush. his name was Gavin. Its only now i realise that rhymes with Adam. Gavin and Cameron were coasties, they were bad, so bad they were good at catch and kiss. They were junior lifesavers, and blonde and brown.

when i was ten i had a crush on a boy called Lee. Lee Miot. Lee was cute too. One day he was playing soccer on the ashphalt and all the boys fell on him. he smashed his mouth on the gravely tar and his two front teeth fell out. I can remember him running to the office past us all, two teeth cupped in his hands at his chin, and the bloody spit falling on the playground in blobs. tears making the marks they do when your face is hot dry and dirty. i was sacred of his blood, id heard about AIDS.

when i was twelve i had a crush on David. he was Italian. and like ferrari's and nintendo. especially super nintendo. he was good at the math quiz' where you have to do 50 times tables. he did them in 3mins. when the 15mins was up i had usually done about 10. David had one of those digital watches too. the ones with the light. we had to do the 'interperative dance' at our confirmation ceremony. i thought it was a sign that we were together at the alter.

when i was thirteen i had a long crush on my friends brother. Chris. he was two years older. and he played footy. rugby. we used to make up dances to TLC crazy sexy cool, and run around. i used to hope he was watching me.

when i was fourteen i had a crush on our family friend Tristian. he was seventeen. we went to a wedding out in the bush and he asked me to go for a walk, we walked down to the creek and he told me, 'you are the only girl ive ever liked'. i had known him for years. i was scared. he was like a brother. now i understood why he wanted to go to roxette* with me when i won tickets. but he was too shy to hold my hand. Tristian was good with cars. he was doing up a VW beetle. it was bright yellow. I ran back up the hill and sat by myself for an hour, trying to figure out why i had run when he tried to kiss me. i liked him. i went and i found him and i kissed him. we hid in the back of his dads old car, it was an old ambulance. and we kissed. my dad found us and then we went home. i didnt see him again.

to be continued...



*i won tickets to five concerts when i was fourteen on a commercial radio station. i entered so i could go to boys II men. i went to boys to men, REM, roxette, pet shop boys, and i won tickets to prince but he never toured.

tick tock

please let me explain myself...

i think it might have taken me this long to recover from the blogging events prior to my holiday and then the holiday itself.

melbourne seemed so dull when i arrived back home, and i guess the view has been a little dreary in my world.... still? i hear you say... yes. still.

i am in the last six months of one of the 'hardest degrees in the world' (quote lawyer friend) architecture. so ive been a bit quiet of late, i like to describe it as 'living in a hole' where you eat sleep and design and there isnt much brain power for other things. this is certain to continue for three months, and then ill try and do some 'elective' subjects in the fine arts department to make up for the loss of time...

so i do read your blogs, and i do see your pictures, but i guess i find it hard to dig that little bit deeper to write here.

ill pop in every now and then.

i love the magnolias at the moment, and last week i filled the house with tulips and stolen daphne.

new occupation: drunken guerilla neighbourhood florist

talented i am
as i steal from well laden trees
and florist bins
to create the most brilliant drunken bouqets

i think ill put that on my business card.

p.s. i fixed a leant to me bike and now i have WHEELZ


yours truly
blue malvern star maiden
laiden with flora!

xx

back to nature

back to nature i got... it was awfully nice.
i went to gorges, rainforest, islands, waterfalls, lakes.
and i went to a rodeo.

the rodeo was different
(different like when you are at picasso and a lady
behind you murmers to a friends, awwoo thats different)
at one point i looked up and realised that teetering on the stands
stood about 300 outback australians
and they all voted for john howard.
all of them.

they all took off their hats and held them to their chest
and it was the first time i had heard a recognisable crowd sing...the national anthem

but we saw bucking bulls and wrestled steers, and i must admit it was exciting.

i ate so much seafood i felt like i could breathe under water.
(i later found out i could not whilst snorkelling off fitzroy island, and swallowing so much salt water my lips were permanantly pursed from the salt)

i saw new things and i realised that the city isnt really all that...
i got back to nature. and i dreamt of building a house, and climbing mountains,
swimming in the local watering holes and spending the whole dry season in a place ive never dreamt of living.

dreams.

thats what happens when you go on a ten day holiday.

we stayed five nights in a motel as it rained a little.
the hotel was run my an old italian women.
'carmina'
on the first morning at 9am she busted into my room (as check out was at 9:30)
and yelled "you STAY or you GO?" in her thick italian accent.
i was naked and in a compromising position.
we stayed.

***

now im in melbourne again.
two have my friends are leaving for japan this week and they are going for a year.
thats a long time.
its selfish, but im sad.

i cant join ponies, though i would love to grind to 90s Nelly tunes...
i have a 'i think im turning japanese' emergency farewell party to host..

school started this week and im on the home run...

i hope you are all well.
sorry ive been lax.

lovelove

how is the view on holiday

its so grey and rainy today, but what do i care?
BECAUSE
im going here;



















to avoid these;















and watch these;













and hug these;















and do this;













and skinny dip, and laugh, and flick my hair like they do on those adds, and lie on sand, REal sand, white fine sand, and see the backpackers get drunk from where we are, and live on the beach in a campetvan, with the back open to the sea air...

so you might not hear from me for a while...

lovelove

if all goes according to plan....

NOTHing went according to plan today... nothing.

im still poor, despite month long efforts to get a loan from RMIT

i did a nice drawing and tried to battle technology to submit it to a worthy publication but to no avail, technology and scanning and uni and email all got in the way

i went to an art opening, and decided that i had IMS bad (see below item 10) and there was only one person i could talk to

i tried to get drunk with friends but ended up a floating loner, spending time with people but not the people i craved, and not the time i craved.

i realised that at the 'event' i am having tomorrow there will be little to no one able to attend (this comes with hosting something when some of your friends are away)

i was told after crying in the city waiting for a tram, holding my breath the whole way home, by a man who was talking about his theories on women and how they must 'sit in front of a mirror to touch their arseholes' (!??!#$%) that i was an
"ugly and disgusting woman"

today was not a good day people. i hope that my bad dreams turn good tonight (ive been having some horrid dreams of late nb. scissor stabbing murders)


tiredly yours..
x

pet hates & irks

1. sending long nice funny emails to people in the middle of a conflict and getting absolutely no response within 24 hours

2. myers MASSIVE HISTORY MAKING SALE and getting stuck behind ten ladies who have all those cards that they ask you for, "myer plus, flybuys, blah blah"

3. library fines

4. people who spell things with an "N for NELLY" type attitude

5. that macs dont have backspace key

6. promising yourself you will do work only to procrastinate while you could be out drinking free booze

7. that the things that i love are NEVER on sale enough. eg. prada parfum, chanel parfum, calvin klein underwear, stella macartney shoes, missoni towels, all these un-neccessary items i dont really need but admire and will NEVER be able to afford

8. people that say um on radio lots

9. the price of polaroid film

10. that i get nervous around people i really really like and get instant mute syndrome (TM)

11. buying a magazine only to find it has ONE good photo shoot

12. that bonsoy soy milk has gone up 50 cents at Coles

13. knitting a cute scarf that took me one whole year and losing it

14. when the tags rip of your tea bags

15. that lindt has changed its packaging, i like flipping open that little top.

16. that blobbing can become consequential

17. op shop boots that have to be worn in... they should be worn in already!

grumpy monkey tonight...
i need a goddam banana...

x
the problem with quick oats is that they are way too quick

the BLOB

blobbing is DANGEROUS

treasure island

song of the day: fuck treasure island, scout niblett.

home alone. ten coffees in south melbourne. already. with. two. fine. ladies. dancing. in. the. lounge. room. in. my. underclothes. again.

this is where im going in six sleeps.


love love

its a day off

its a day off, i could do things.

i woke up four times this morning, and couldnt get out until
i saw the sun. and then the rain came in.
so now im averaging putting on one item of clothing an hour
and trying to make a cup of tea but to no avail.

the rain makes me want to dye some of my colourful clothes black.

its been a frustrating couple of months
ive been drawing things that dont relate to uni at all and hoping that i can
get away with it

i sort of did get away with it though, with a journal full of dreams hidden away from sight,
and a folio for uni with a couple of maps and things that got handed in.

ive been waiting for a revelation, the kind you get when you know what you should do about things and you dont do it. some people think im strong but when it comes to love, as my mum says its on my SLEEVE. on my goddam sleeve in an hour or so.
and then your tricked. and people tell you tricks and ignore the things they've said before and it all turns into a yucky mush like the bottom of the tomato paste jar when its been left at the back of the fridge.

ive been neglecting everyone. so today i make ammends with my black rabbit. he's up in the apartment running about, making me work for my pats. hide and seek under the bed.

and i catch up on the millions of emails in the world that have stars, month old stars.

and i hope i can be more enthusiastic about things other than my dreamy drawing state.
last night i had a dream that my sister was touching the lense of my camera and i was angry at her. it wasnt very nice. ive been having strange dreams.

the view: many many naked trees, grey sky, black birds, shiny black wet roads, grass growing brown with the lack of light and the drench of rain, the city behing a haze of misty rain.

things to do

8 sleeps til im in tropical paradise
thats right
i cant WAIT for warm breezes cold mountain nights, snorkelling off islands with water like you see in those adds, and storms. i cant wait til i hear the earth moving, rumble grumble, houseshaking thunder of a REAL storm.
not like you get in these parts

isnt it cold?
yes.

things to do when on official holidays,

- stack bills in neat piles and hope that this makes it easier to look at them... later
- call all those people you havent talked to in a while
- stay in bed. all day. in the cold. get up for the odd cup of tea...
- use your housemates beautiful computer while she is on holidays
- have baths
- spend WHOLE days at home
- drink all the quince brandy you promised to others
- draw lots of things that arent buildings
- plan to draw lots more things that arent buildings
- blog
- make your myspace profile pretty but hard to read
- drink and guzzle lots of wine on friday nights and look at people like you didnt really mean to look at them
- spend ALL day sifting for treasure in op shops that you have never been in and get things like a $4.50 polaroid camera, cause you dont have enough already? (this is my third) and jumpers, and plates, and tea cups.
- hold up your friend who is falling, and help her out of her strange circumstance, giving her ginormous love hugs and such
- um.
- bake apple cake and not let a little thing like no eggs in the house get in your way
- drink ten million cups of tea
- yes ten million.
- slowly remember how to blog again.


hi.
im back. not in black though.
and i have loved reading all your blogs when i havent had the chance to write on my own.
nick told me via sms that my blogs sucked of late.
sorry nick.

x

ummmmm

ooo

ahhhh mmm
ahem

ahhh he hee ehm

no im not at the dentist
or having an orgasm

but i dont know what to write.

so i just want to say hello ok?

HI.

gday. wassup?

ok i tried to write something...
to no avail. ill try tomorrow. maybe.

xx





ps. i thought id get in on the 'so hot right now' pony thing... but i like camels better
i see them every sunday at the market. have you ever looked at their feet? they are amazing..
there
i WROTE sumthin'

its late and cold

and i have a cold. and i have school work up to my ear holes, maybe my eyeballs too,
so it seems the perfect time to blob...

i always think of nice things to write, much like mr simon...
but get distracted and forget them

i ate jaffas today, lots of them and sat and stared at the computer (and im still staring!) and i went to marias trattoria on peel st in north melbourne and ate pasta, and then chewed on a killer python... i had the pleasure of sharing the evening with gen and murray
and we talked about what the best word to use for vaginas is (vadge), that the use of the word doodle is inappropriate after the age of 2 (someone we know uses it alot???) and that the funniest thing to do is to say whatever you were going to say but put the emphasis on the wrong syllable and you'll laugh like a hyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeena.
a fucking hyeeena.

the beauty of language.

last night i had a romantic interlude.
and didnt go home when
maybe i should have
but maybe it was a relapse
but it was so nice i dont really care

but no sleep means my nose is running like a leaky hose
a goddam fire hose

murray has a blackboard on his porch
which the whole street contributes to
and draws on (ghostpatrol who are you?? we think you are pretty)
and appropriates
at their will and incognito

my favourite balckboard quote;

"your sideways glances warm
my timber bones"

ill try to be a little more consistant with blobbing
now im not working its hard to while away the hours on the intra-ma-net...

thanks for all your nice comments lately

xx
problematic

PS ITS ALMOST TIME TO CRAK OUT THE QUINCE BRANDY mmmmmmmm

semi precious

and so my red legs return to their black homes
now that i have done some washing
which is getting a crusty stiffness
in front of the heater
the whole apartment smells like
laundry, clean laundry

**

last night i caught the last tram home from
the studio

in the misty light and engrossed in my latest issue
of voiceworks (the genre issue)
i missed my stop

so i walked and through the foggy silence
and in the distance
i could see about five men
sweeping, scooping, brushing, washing and watching

shhh sshhhh shshhh

echoed through the park,

and as i got closer i realise the colour on the road

a big emerald green strip, i couldnt walk on it,
and had to stop and stare at the glistening colour
before they flatten it into the tarmac
the colour resembled
the glistening filaments of astro turf in the hardware

and when i got to my room,
a cold nose, cold fingertips,
i went to sleep to the sounds of shovels and giant brooms
washing the semi precious gems across the gravel

red legs

whats going on? im having one of those things where
you dont get much work done and then everything else becomes
intensely important
and you are taken up with
minor
meagre
details.

it has not been a good couple of weeks, no
but im not defeated
yet

just going slightly insane due to;

my poorness (how to pay yesterdays rent?)
and the guilt of being a shit housemate
(never cleaning, cooking, buying food, never here)
and that feeling that yes perhaps it is unavoidable that
i will be alone

ive been saying all the wrong things at the wrong times

gen bought me poppies
they are slowly unfolding at my desk
from being so crumpled to being so fine and transparent
i love watching them
three have opened today already

she told me about a place in tasmania
where there is a strange religion in a little
town where a friend of her's lives

they have to wear scarves on their heads and
long skirts
and they believe heaven is at the end of a street in
that town
gens friend lives on that street
but the wrong end

"heaven is at the end of my street
and i live at the wrong end"

we decided that would be a good song

these people also believe that
you cant look at any type of screen
not a computer or a television

but they correspond with the leader of their religion by email

they go to the nearest computer place
which is run by two gay guys in the town and
get the men to log in to the email and
print off their correspondance


crazy

today is foggy
but im wearing red stockings
a distracting flash of red here and ther

perhaps today will be a good day?

horses

at night here, the horses that spend the day on swanston st are guided past the studio.
at around six o'clock.
and the noise sounds like nothing else.
one night i was walking somewhere and wearing my brown boots,
i was walking quickly and the boots are missing their bottoms, so they make that loud hollow coconut shell noise,
you know the one
i quickly gained on an italian family on their way to pizza,
as i approached them the son quipped that i sounded like a horse.
he was old enough to know better, maybe thirty years old.
not the three year old you pictured.
when i was little
kids called me trotter
and clapped their hands on their laps.
it was supposed to be funny.

**

camilla just made a noise on her microwave - glass - rotating - plate.
her palette
a noise like when you put a mug of milk in the box so it gets warm
but 'dont let the milk get a skin'
i used to love getting that milky skin on my finger
and sticking the rubbery matter in my mouth to dissolve
camilas noise though,
was a jar of poison she dips her brushes in to make a beautiful shine
on her dark pictures

**

my mother jokingly made a suggestion to me about
the
'he's just not that into you'
book
that she bought at a weak moment
and read it while she was weak
i said i think its ridiculous but i couldnt articulate why

**

heavy

the sun is shining today,
but i have large rocks in my stomach.

i went out to a place called jeparit once,
its by the desert in NW victoria.
i had rocks in my stomach then too.

on our way we went through ararat and took the scenic route,
the one you take with the little brown sign, to see the wind farm.

big elegant and serene
they rhythmically turned,
around and around. waving.

also on the scenic route, there was an old gold quarry.
a big hole in the ground filled with rusty tractors, once strong and dependable,
now filled with holes, and no where to sit in their shell.

the farmer stood at the fence and told us to come and have a look. he didnt seem to mind at all.
three kids, taking 'beatutiful' pictures,
"be careful he shouted behind us" as we crawled in and out and around,
climbing down deep into a hole someone dug a long time ago.

i picked up a rock then. it felt sharp in my hand and its shiny speckles glinted through the basalt.

the grampians stood over us in thebackground.

and i held the rock and put it in my bag.

once i was going to go to a fancy dress party,
a halloween party, and i dressed up as miranda from picnic at hanging rock,
the same rock hanging from my neck (the pun) me all pale and white, and the rock poking my ribs.

now it sits under my bed in a box.

but i feel like its heavy in my stomach. a sadness rambling around,
poking me here and there with that crying feeling in my throat.















im at my desk.
im slowly slipping the skin off a firm mandarin.
you know that smell?
the one that will hint at everyones nose whether they like it or not?
and spitting out the seeds.

they're becoming cheap these mandy's
but today as i passed the fruit man i mourned the
loss of bananas, all bruised.
poor nanas. poor generation of little tykes that are missing them in they're toddler stages right now.

one of my best friends is a writer.
she writes all sorts of things, for newspapers. and she writes stories.
she teaches little ratbags to write, in greensborough once a week.
two weeks ago she disappeared and went off to the west to a womens prison. (clit clink)
yesterday she hung out with heroin addicts.
i often wonder how pretty anna k. (elliot smith rings in my head went i say that 'pretty mary k')
can do it. she gives so much to make people who read the paper a little smarter.
she says i have made her see things differently. im not sure how.

and i wish she knew how many people she has made see things differently.

i love her.

the pictures here are from WA
and they are hers.
and i love them.

xx

back to basics...

the view....

Dark as at 9pm on a summer night

low clouds come from the sea
from the south
the tops of the towers are covered
become encased in cloud

two boys rush out hoping to get caught up in it
an excuse not to come back inside
a foggy city
a seemless boundless storm in the day

the day ages and the wind blows
hard and deep into your ears and mouth
eyes close, exposed

to be in the tower where there is only cloud out the window
not like in a plane
where you are bound to your seat
and bounce about through the sky

but in a room in the clouds



im not high enough today

RIP

i dont think i can tip off again... disaster strikes when i do.

my housemate and friend Romy went to said fig tree yesterday.
she walked up the lane where i said it was and
found the branches.

dismembered yet laden branches.

the tree was cut down.
hard rubbish brings me mostlyjoy
but also pain, the rash and indiscriminate lopping of trees
so you can bundle them up, tie them with string and throw them away...

*sigh*

im sorry.

Romy grabbed as many figs as she cold carry in her arms and brought them home.
and they will make jam.
and hopefully there are other trees in the neighbourhood for yours....

figjam

so the quices are in brandy, star anise and cinnamon,
expelling their peachiness into golden warm brandy...
not sure what it will be week in six weeks time, but hopefully nigella is right.
a drink for cold nights by the blazing fire (or gas heater as the case may be)

fig jam is next... mmm. mmm. m.
on big chuncks of hot buttered rye.

for the purpose of clarification, yes there are enough figs for the whole of north carlton but you might need a milk crate or two to get to the real plump ones...
here is a map.


it is ACTUALLY* at the end of a lane on the north side of
HERBERT ST.





hmm. the weather is bizarre! this morning i woke up and the view revealed upon snoozes many different moods. cloudy, bright blue and sunny, and stormy, and rainy. only ten minutes apart.

all is quiet at the quest hotel, allthe venetians are closed so tight i cant see a thing.

I have the keys to move in to my studio in my hot (cold actually) little hands and am so excited. Murray and I move in tomorrow. Then i will build nest upon nest and settle my feathers.

see you around there is lots on tomorrow...

x

disclaimer: was on the way home from the docter (blood suckers) when first found tree therefore there was a little glitch or two upon trying to describe exactly where it was.... sorry

see you there...

I love autumn.

How goddam good is the weather?
How good is it?!

Foggy mornings, misty sunsets, not too windy, and the sun! Perfect weather…
For a while there it was cold and our heater is a bit broken (the heater is getting fixed though… today in fact. By a ‘heater man’ well didn’t we quip last night about that! 8am “why hello mr. Heater man” Bed hair, gasping voice you know the one)

And our showers were cold too. This is because the water heater has been gushing all our hot water into the ground… for about 10 YEARS! But no more! It too is fixed.

It’s been a whole week and I’m sorry. I feel like a giant blob of glue that is getting all plastic and is about to become useless and unstick… debts to my ear holes, work to my eyeballs and general uncertainty hangs above my little (medium sized actually) head about all those important things. At the same time I have this buzz in my tummy and a happiness, like a two year old who has just eaten some clag... its a sort of like for someone that I like quite a bit...

And how can you be sad with this weather? Though I wish the BOM would stop changing their minds about the weather. Tomorrow sunny or not? I need to plan my tea in the morning: back steps? Or kitchen table? Which is it going to be!

I can tell you today that the sun is shining because it’s George’s birthday. George is a very tall boy, with long lashes, and flushed cheeks. He is good at guitar and music things, plays frisbee quite well, likes to surf, made a mean curry last night, can speak Japanese, and he says sorry quite a bit.

George is one of the most spectacular individuals on this big brown land (quite liked saying ‘big brown land’) He has a combi named polly and a very beautiful girlfriend, and they travelled around Australia and they have had quite a number of adventures that make magnificent stories.

And I am very, very, glad to have met him, and very glad he was born 28 years ago.

Happy Birthday Mr George

Last night I found a beautiful fig tree, still full with figs, and hanging over a lane fence in glorious abundance. I shall share with you where it is… on mac pherson st, north carlton, between lygon and drummond… at the end of a lane on the north side…last night I made the most delicious toffee figs with sour cream and chocolate.

They are green and are the most plump and jewel filled figs I have ever seen.

See you at the fig tree.

X me

quest

My desk looks straight into Quest on Bourke. A hotel above Bourke St.

There usually isn’t much action, and I know people can’t see me,
but I can see them. Usually there are cleaners making beds, couples standing on their balconies looking at the view...

A few moments ago there was a lady standing at the window, with her grey tracksuit and hand on hips, with glowing pink skin. She picked her nose, and glared at the street below.

It’s a strange feeling watching someone, knowing they can’t see you. It happens to each and every one of us at some point. Being watched and not knowing.

The night before last I was getting changed and realised mid top off that there a man walking his dog and staring at me from across the park. I have blinds; sometimes I don’t close them sometimes I do. This is most likely sheer Karma for all the times I’ve spotted people getting their gear off in various locations and not looked away.

Voyeurism.

p.s. i got a tram fine (another one) last night... cunts

in the jungle












So my presentation went well, despite technical difficulties.
This made me happy.
And then I was supposed to have a presentation tomorrow and there was some sort of divine intervention and its been put back to next week. HOORAY!

Guess what?
I got a studio (little dance...) on Queensbury and Elizabeth in the city.
Right near the market (potential fresh fruit vs. jam doughnut rivalry there)
so I will have a space to while away the hours with people I love.

I get to have a real weekend, with cups of tea and baths
(I do bathe, but baths are more fun when they are long and candlelit), snuggling, and doing mountains of washing.

I’ve also succumbed to the 'myspace' revolution (heaven forbid another thing to update and up keep). Internet procrastination, though, is my favourite thing to do whilst chained to a computer (in case you hadn’t noticed- and no this is not some strange fetish).

And then there is another holiday! ANZAC day. Memories of shaking little old man hands and trying to be chipper at 4am so my dad could remember his dad fill my mind. I only wish that there would be more 'learning' from what has happened than just 'remembering'.

My friend Dane hopped in his car today and is driving all the way to Cairns. Stopping in Canberra, Sydney, Brisbane, Noosa, Townsville and on to cairns. Big drive Mr Dane.
but... this means we dream of a group holiday to cairns very very soon!
hopefully in July.

I can’t wait to roam the forest

x me

having said that

i just re-discovered the arnotts teddy bear biscuit...
i used to go to mac donalds, yes i know i would't go near the place now
even if i saw jarvis there
(actually bugger off i wouldnt... i would go and kneel at his lengthy limbs... but you get my point)
but anyway i used to go...
and get the cookies.

and i loved them.

and now i have found them...

'teddy bears'
best in your mouth.

x me

what do you get?

When you eat big bad meals for five days straight? Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun.
A roly poly sore tired belly of great disgust...that’s what.

How are you?
Sometimes I like to think about how you are too. I’m shy around nice people who are beautiful, and most times when I see you I can’t say hello. My brain is too busy soaking you up to use its cognitive features to think of something poignantly silly to say.

It churns and churns and churns.

But nothing comes out.

And it’s because you are so pretty that my pupils enlarge, and my lips sting.

It’s only 'the family' that I can talk to these days. Otherwise I get lost in the sea of know-who-did-what-and-sings-this-and-paints-that. We are all so clever.

I have to get clever today as I have stand up tomorrow and talk to a panel of six architects and tell them what I think of the suburbs, and trains and their stations, and large fences, and grassy hills. Tough stuff...

Yesterday I made (what we calculated to be) 75 pancakes. There were lots. And there was lulling, lemon curd, maple syrup and many a condiment. Campari and orange. Ooo and brilliant people, shiny as a freshly cut gem, and the sun came. What an Easter Sunday!

I hope you had a nice day too.



x me

now that im older

so now that im almost 24 and a half.
i have begun to understand the impact that catholic education brings.
especially at easter.

christmas, how nice, babies, big stars, donkeys, pretty mary, and a few men with nice beards. not too much different from a saturday night out really.

easter. i was writing an email to propose a dinner to some friends and got a little carried away;

It is the festival of chocolate consumption (aka easter):

eggs, gruesome whippings*, rejoice, thorns in your head*, chocolate, public humiliation*, hot cross buns, carrying heavy hunks of wood that you will be tied and nailed to later*, springtime (in the northern hemisphere?), painting of lambs blood above your door to escape the angel of death* and rabbits and shit.

*if you find me hiding in my Bermuda triangle cupboard and weeping it’s a flashback to year two at ‘star of the sea’ primary school;

where the paedophilic priest (who 10 years later was imprisoned for touching little boys [luckily not girls] ) stood over us filling us with ‘the fear’ of ‘our saviour’ who
DIED
for
US
spittles would fly from his mouth at 30 under ten-year-old children, quivering with fear while he described the 12 stations of the cross from the ‘last supper’ to the ‘resurrection’ in gruesome detail and insists we imagine, and be very sorry for all our sins…
just kiss me and give me more chocolate…

scarred? me?

all in all i dont think i turned out too bad, that love one another stuff was alright...
cheers to the festival of chocolate...


ill whispher comforting things in your ear


I’m a little bit sleepy. It’s Saturday night and Im all alone in the world of lines, lines, lines!
Thank god for mixed tapes.

I know I said I was going to go and support the creative genius’ that produce such beautiful publications as VOICEWORKS and IsNot magazines, but its too late, well maybe its not, but I can’t sacrifice my sanity for a little jiggle tonight.


Thank god for mixed tapes. i have three here that my lovers, friends, and lovely friends have given me.
Right now Elliot Smith rings loudly... "needle in the ha-ay", its ok it picks up a little later on, with some Scout Niblett, The Microphones and then a little Nancy Sinatra, unlikely mix? I think so, but that’s where these things end up. My ears are actually starting to hurt a little from the headphones I have at the moment. I think ill have to catch the last tram home tonight.

“shu shu shuu

shu shu shuuu

shu sha shu shoo

sugar town

yesterday it rained in tenesee

and it also rained in telahasee

but not a drop fell on little ol

me

cause I was in

sho shu shu

sugartown”

Nancy. Trams. Lines. SATURDAY NIGHT? Sugar town.

x

*disclaimer* small print

ToDAY I GOT PARANOID.

That maybe my spelling was a little out? That my grammar was a little wrong? I have some writer friends, and I think maybe Im not so good at it. I don’t know if it matters or not.

I tried to explain something to someone yesterday (someone we like to think as a ‘lay’ person) and couldn’t. My tongue couldn’t pull it together to say what the picture in my head was on about.

Ridiculous.

I think (I know) that the powers that be at Architecture school seep every single descriptive word from out of your head and make you draw things instead. We are trained to observe, and communicate through drawing.

So I think I am either frustrating the hell out of you all with this ramble. Or I am practising that art where you write down the things that you see.

So I will persist.

For now…

lace from a sunnier day

uuummmm.
i had a big night on friday,
one of my biggest ever.
what started as a posh dinner in our best dresses,
(we went to panama, on smith st, the food is brilliantly brilliant!)
became a debauched dancing bonanza culminating in a 7am
falling asleep on someone else's bed with five other friends
and getting dragged home kind of night...
and i was sick yesterday, so sick that i could go out to the various parties that were on.
one of them being my best friends party...

what a horrible friend!
i hate party guilt...
hate it.

anyway...
this is how the cake turned out... hee he




*the wind whistles through the (coconut) grass and gunshots rival whistling arrows
as the cowboys try to escape their hopeless pursuit, being lassoed to the cactus and all...*

we went to a new shop on friday, its on smith st and it is immaculate 'janes addiction'. beautiful objects, i got a viewmaster, and we bought anna k FORT APACHE, a cowboys and indians set... the cowboys even have einsie weensie plastic scarves...
its beautiful.

happy day of the EXTRA hour...

x

spot on... where are ya?

spot on
i had to put this up cause its so beautiful...

silly cake quiz...

im reasearching at the moment
a very serious matter.

birthday cakes. remember the ones your mum used to make from the womans weekly cookbook. you know the ones, the cstle with ice cream comes, the swimming pool, the numbers with smarties, the ballerina, the train...

ive been known to make variations, for friends in high school i made such things as tweety bird, sunflowers, elmer fudd, tazzie devil
and more recently a guitar cake, a giant bird.

anyway. its a special persons birthday really soon so im brainstorming.

i went here...

its taken things a little too far really... a quiz?

and do you know what one i got?
'fun at the beach'

I ASKED FOR A COOL CHANGE.

apparently i also like dinner on the grill...

time for... a cool change....

call me a rotten and horrble person for dissing this weather,
but i cant wait to go brrr.
i cant wait to wear the legwarmers, and stockings,
and give all my happy little knits a burl.
ive even been slowly collecting up mohair scarves for the occasion.

i know i might change my mind when it comes,
but i think its time for a cool change.

SNAP

ive not really noticed before, and im sure evyone else has,
but ive been getting stroppy....
oh yeah on friday i wrote how happy i was... and how nothing could get better as i was 'anchored'
but i think today i have realised that i am a great big stroppy lump of self pitying crud.
i whined this morning.
i whined that i had to get out of bed, i whined that i had to stay at home and study while everyone went to the beach, and then when they all left i cried. im sure to whine when i get any spot of the hot wind on me, and whine when things dont turn out right.

i whine.

'snap out of it' someone should say. but no-one does, they are all much too nice.

yesterday i went to broadmeadows.

it was an interesting, disturbing, hopeless and vast place. i saw a man with a 'TERRORISTS fuck off' t-shirt. a jim beam in his hand, climbing out of his land rover full of wives and kids, with a purple rally car, all beat and torn in tow. i wanted to have a miranda stare, and look at him with searing eyes until he exploded.

i surprised myself.

and then beyond him stretched far and wide the same houses, with same rooves and the same lawns. and i realised i was glad to be out of the place i spent so much time, and living here. despite the fact we live in a bubble.

when i got home i walked in to my room, and there was a bed there. my friends all pitched in and bought me a bed.

it made me so happy that they thought of me, but i was also a little ashamed.
this girl has too much pride... and thats why ive been whining and sleeping on milk crates with bits of wood to fill in the gaps. stupid.

so ill try to leave the whining at that. leave it at the door.

*

no title needed today...
just an exclamation of pure peace.

i like today, its a little hot though, one my dear friends anna is pining for cooler times so i can wear my 'fur' (i am a fox you see, according to her)

i bought an anchor today, its navy and white, and made of plastic (a brooch).
and i think it worked. i put it on and instantly felt anchored. im in a very happy place.
maybe its the yellow dress too.
ive been a little grumpy and frumpy lately, almost demanding *gasp* demanding cuddles and kisses, but i think they worked too.

last night we cheers'd to the last drops of summer (the little sprinkler spurt that comes from a hole you cant find, and goes in the wrong direction maybe in your eye, and surpises you, in a good way). romy and i had to cancel the first knitting club for sunday, we pre-empted autumn, there is no cool wind yet, just warm pleasentries. i might even get the chance to do a little touslling in the sand on sunday... maybe ill take my anchor.

my nanna always writes at the end of her cards
"may your rainbows never turn blue..." x N
(i have crafty sticker nanna who is going through a very amusing phase of scrapbooking and sticker craft for all occasions)

i always seem to write such silly little detached and incoherant posts.

im going to a little opening tonight in a little subway spot that has little creatures that aren't mascots, and to fold and unfold books that are maps with lots of mis-communicative stories.
its at platform. under flinders st. see you there.

x

whacking day

its st patricks day today....
and that reminds me (is this sad?) of the simpsons... the 'whacking day' episode with barry white and the speakers, and the clubbing of snakes in the spirit of st partick.

so slippery (the snake downstairs) had better be careful of clubs and whackers out there...

sunny days at home

i thought id show you my house.. i finally got my room looking neat and tidy and am procrastinating from doing work... i should be running around the park with the kids... having sports day...

this is the view from my bedroom window... the magnolia tree will blossom this winter and i'll be so happy when it does...

and here's my room, and my polaroid collection- or part thereof, all from the last year or so..


and this is where i see the joggers all day everyday...



so if you run around princes park... im watching you... you should make sure you have good posture when you run with flailing arms and legs, red faced, pink skinned.. wave...SMILE

thursday should be a good day....

RANT ensues:

so its six o’clock and I’m about to go home from school.
there are pin-boards around me with neglected and abandoned cd’s, posters of the twelve (nine?)
apostles,
and no windows. none. there are highlight windows to INSIDE spaces, they even have their own little black curtains just in case any light wants to creep through… but nope nothing to look at.
Next to me is someone from downstairs’ sketch (fashion students) I know its wrong but I might just. He.
Yeah why not?

*

Ah the scanners not working. Its someone’s design for lingerie, ‘panties’ and brassiere, suspenders and garter…
What makes someone talented? This person doesn’t look talented…their sketch is on scrappy loose leaf A4 paper with binder holes down the side and faint blue lines with a red lined margin. In blue biro. Is it wrong to judge someone by the way they do their sketches?

*

Arggh anyway, I need a studio. I can’t take the clicking and snorting, sniffing and clicking, banging, tutting, sighing, chatter about a pet dog who had a car accident, of strangers. I can’t handle the feel of the boy next to me sighing, his expended air crawling on my cheek, most probably because he ran up the stairs. The lifts have been out of order due to ‘industrial relations disputes’ for two weeks now.



H E L P ME!

nice morning... a little too nice....

the city is sooo strange at the moment,
and its only going to get weirder...
its so clllleeeeeannnnn.
so pristine, as the autumn leaves fall im sure someone
is running about with a leaf [dust] buster, slurping them up
before they hit the ground.

slurp.
so now one can tell that the seasons have changed
except the ‘local’ people.

I was walking home from work last night and a leaf was falling towards me,
towards my head, and I flinched.
like an involuntary comment, a thinking out aloud,
a flinch as a leaf fell toward me, thinking it was a projectile.
I know I am a city girl now.

there are tracksuits, of all colours, littered about the clean grey mall,
and people with funny little tags in that in-offensive blue colour.

and very little homeless people, ‘moved on’ I guess. I think they were all lined up
outside the brotherhood in Brunswick st this morning as I rode by on the tram.

strange days, and surely about to get stranger...

fernando

so this morning i was on the tram,
with the inspectors (romy and i had decided there is a plague of them at the moment)
and a man came and sat next to me.

he was about fifty, lithe, fit and generally in offensive.
blue oakley wrap around sunglasses- with a strap around the back,
white shirt with a slight embossed stripe
red knotted cuff links, a red tie,
freckles, short (no.1) hair.

someone you would usually think would ride to work every day on a bike...

he was listening to an ipod, a little white nano,
with a lime green jelly cover,
and straight away i noticed the song blaring,
escaping from his hairy ears.

FERNANDO- abba.

must i be subjected to these characters with bad ipod playlists their wives (is there any other explanation?) have collated to 'spice' up their day?

*goes the applestore and dreams*

shadow puppets...

i killed my dinner
with karate
kick him in the face
taste the body...
shallow
work
is the work that i do.
- johanna newsom


i had a lovely weekend, draining me of all anxiety,
filling me with music and food.
bar-be-cues and bodies.
lorelei made a pavlova. i made a plethora of salads with romy,
and we sat and ate, all 30 of us.
boys ran the barbecue, isnt it funny that they crowd around,
and watch, watch for the right time to turn, and nudge, with long silvery fingers.

the highlight of the evening was the puppet show.
we found that on the three story blank white wall next door,
our apartment on the first floor (there are only two) has a window from romy's bedroom that shines directly and enlarges shadows.
so there were skits with bananas and knives and all the comical and dark things that being drunk and woosey in the night time on a sunday brings.

im almost finished my book too,
'the cure for death by lightening'
by Gail Anderson-Dargatz

i love finishing books.

i started uni this week, which means time to knuckle down,
and work, and build tiny buildings. models. people love things that are small and fantastical. its such a hard thing to grasp through just drawings.

post some photos before you know it...

x

to be suure...


its been a while I know…
things are looking up…

after spending last weekend at the beach, and the hot weather un-folding this week, its like the summer is squeezing out its last drops for us.

the dandelion fluff is floating through the air, lolling about, unleashed by the sunny disposition of the city, even up here it floats past the window, a desert in the air.

im looking forward to the weekend, lots of dancing, lots of lovin’ and taking advantage of my ‘last weekend of freedom’… school starts next week. then the bell will toll, life will combust and ill be groping for sleep once again.

ive been a bit scared to write this week, i had a few “so you’ve got two blog’s now…?” comments last week, id like to think that no one reads it and it just exists, but I know that there are people secretly reading it here and there.

So im heading to the ol’ colonial tonight, and it just so happens that I have a sore eye, so I might have to go as a pirate and wear a goddam patch… and dance the night away to woman and tits…

to be sure. aahhh harrr.

coalface everyone, everyone meet coalface...




















meet coal face:

male
recently divorced
11 months old
fur slightly scuffed and discoloured from urine attack
very cute when cleaning face
eats carrots but only when no-one is looking 'cause he's woried aboutbeing a cliche`
good friends with slippery the snake (sssssssssssssssss)
enjoys long walks in the grass
dislikes being compared to his cousin 'the white rabbit' as it makes him feel in-adequate for not having a pocket watch, and he is never late


















Last evening upon a patio
There stood some girls,
Brightly dressed in heels and yellow,
Blue and cream.
Red lipstick.

The crowd was slightly inadequate…
Slightly lax
So they diverted their attention to a pink giraffe

Flying high on the roof tops of Fitz-royalty
His hoofs shone transparent with magic
And his nose glistened in the afternoon sun

Turning their heads from his lime boat
He disappeared, saddle gone
limbs leaving prints in the juice

Alas he has joined them
Stolen
Giving pink light to a crowd of inanimate beige creatures…

you move me



I cleaned my desk yesterday. Therefore, the view is a little more composed, a little more comfortable from where I am sitting today.

Out the window I see the roof network that lines Bourke St. Air Conditioning Ducts snake over (reminds me of slippery – the snake that lives downstairs) and on to other buildings, fire escapes and lift core boxes stack up, satellites, aerials, flagpoles…

Another world, un-inhabited…but for birds, window washers and the odd little man.

Sometimes there is a chair or two, a bit of astro-turf, but its rare to see the people that use them, that put them there.

It’s a grey day.

I wish I wasn’t staring at empty rooftop chairs, I wish I wasn’t sleeping on couch cushions still.

*winces eyes and hopes to be teleported to perhaps Spain. Yes Spain… in the middle of the night, with dancing ladies and swivelling hips*

bruised

Today I feel like I have a slight bruise somewhere but I can’t find it...
I’m still sad, resembling the nectarine I’m determined to finish eating though its skin is soft and its middle is hard, and the sweetness is gone.

* * *

Last night I slept on three disfigured and mismatched couch cushions. I slept straight and long (not my usual style) and with both hands by my side, so as not to let my skin scratch on the carpet. I’m warming to my new room, which I never thought possible, as I am so warm to it already, and have slept with my head to the north, east and west… I liked east the best, I wonder if that is allowed in the lore of feng shui.

(Once I worked on a project where there was a feng shui consultant (master), it was the most un-relenting and hardest things to negotiate… sectors, numbers, brass and water. Completely dependent on the individual and what numbers were in what sectors, not just a flower here and a couch there.)

* * *
so… the view… deliriously sunny, the flag on the I&G building (Collins st) is blustering and flapping like the lady that ran for the tram this morning, tapping and waving through the doors at victoria st, and I reckon the heat will be blistering outside.

When I sat down earlier there were single feathers gliding through the air, 11 floors high, perhaps a bird died somewhere.

* * *
the pip lies on the desk
Everything sounds so dramatic when you write it down.
I think I need a honey joy…

roaring success...













i had my first garage sale on saturday,
it was surprisingly easy and much fun.
we had all necessary items to get us through the day,
and finished with a swim. followed by preparations for a
trip to the animal kingdom on saturday night.
a good saturday...
aaannnd im allowed to have coalface at my new abode!
stay posted for construction photos of his palatial hutch.

adventures of a little old christian

Last night I sang.
I sang like a goddam stewardess who is on her first flight as cabin crew manager and spittles into her microphone, while it creaks and breathes.

I drank; I drank a load of plum wine and was very pleased that it was ever thought of.

We sang karaoke, with bad videos that made me want to spew- with nineties camel toes, with ugly models who perpetually touched themselves, with couples splashing in fountains and smelling roses, with loads of old white people wandering around aimlessly in gardens and on beaches.

(Highlights of the night include moaning to; Everybody- Backstreet Boys, Satisfaction- Rolling Stones, Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond, Get It ON- Trex, and watching my friends try to reach the high notes of Sweet Child o mine)

Hooray for large displays of extravagant attention seeking therapy, and drunken exploits.

***

They were filming a Stephen King film in Princes Park this morning, and as I was waiting for the tram I saw them carefully and tediously place large bunches of lichen-ey brownish hair on the bridge. Very interesting… I’m not a reader of Mr King’s work but I wouldn’t mind imagining what creature will lurk from the depths in the night…

***

Sometimes when I’m drawing (that’s what I do allll day) on the computer and I am multi tasking I paste something in and it happens to be a line that I may have used in an email or whilst blog-ing. I was just drawing and I pasted in big text all over a roof plan, “ ‘ill have to be a bit more "private, sensitive...(and) anxious’ ”.

***

Its going to be sunny for the rest of the week and I am glad, but I am also glad that there has been some rainy solace from my hot little soul last week. As the lady who is the receptionist for the fundamental Christians that have an office downstairs said in the lift this morning, in a little short and croaky voice,

“ooo its lovely to have some cool weath-er”

*sigh*

the sigh comes back, it returns, from a time when the lights went out last year.

a sad day, and im sitting up almost encompassed in the dark clouds. on the top floor. it feels like they are coming in through the window and hugging me.
last night was the end. the end of january, and definately the end of a relationship.

i feel a bit sick in the stomach. you know that feeling. like you've lost your wallet, but you dont even care about the wallet, just whats inside.

so many seas...

i wouldnt usually divulge my friends emails,
but today i received the best dreamy email from murray in egypt.

ahhhh. dahab is splendido. its on the red sea...noice n peaceful like...we can see saudi on zi otherside. been snorkelling around the traps -crazy coral and fish and caves, it all just falls off this coral cliff into the deep blue sea. wowow. the weather turned sour though... spent the afternoon racking up a bill on egyptian tea, turkish coffe and chilled hibiscus teee. tonight we leave for cairo and then to alexandria to swim in the old meditt...so close to europe but no cigar... whats happening in melbs, tell me the goss, though maybe you are lying somewhere in an ice bath being fanned by midgets. best of luck with that and dont go opening your pits up to useful peoples...


*returns to ice filled bath and orders midgets to carry on...*

they eat small mammals dont they?



things really arent going all that well,
i have to make some decisions.
rather large ones...
all my friends are leaving.

i hear thats what happens when you fall into your mid twenties,
and when you fall in like with someone and stuff and nonsense.

i think im developing abandonment issues...

good news is that im getting paid for my first two weeks of fulltime work next week, and it'll be grand.

and more good news is im moving into a new house, a permanent house, NO more housesitting.

other good news is im going to get a pet, a pet rabbit. he's suffering from a recent divorce with his male lover, and due to a recent spurt of domestic violence from his large white parter, coal face is up for adoption.
we get along well, he is black, doesnt make me sneeze, and has quite big knowledgable eyes.

only problem is Bill, who lives down stairs to my new house has two snakes. pet ones.
one's called slippery.

they eat small mammals dont they?

a man walks into a bar


"why did mona lisa smile?
i have the answer written down in my pocket...
i know why mona lisa smiled,
da vinci must have been a really funny guy,
and laughter is the only way into my heart"


jens lekman
'a man walks into a bar'
from; 'oh! you're so silent jens'
(2004) SWD

unleash the tea cups!

soon, i will have a home, a bedroom all to my self..
i can unleash the tea cups that have been wrapped in the classifieds for four months,
and bring out the teapots that are suffering from not being used.

i have to buy a new wardrobe to house my mis-treated clothes, and a new bed!
a new bed! so excited.

pleeease rain dance in your lunch breaks today,
im going to stand in the mall and belly dance with the fat lady until it rains...

ooooo

today the lights were out in the lift... i didnt mind though,
being in a lift... climbing eleven floors... only lit by the
2 6 8 9 10 11

it was kind of nice.

*now the sky is sooo dark , im watching all the blue-grey clouds swallow up the sun on the buildings, and cover any last bit of little-girls-dress blue the sky has to offer*

hmm. i wonder if it smells like rain outside...

im wearing a white shirt too today, problematic with no umbrella...

upon my lunchtime wanderings i made a visit to my favourite friend,
fleischi
her song of the day is express yourself

"dont go for second best baby,
put your love to the test..."

before the leotards, camel toes, massive pectorals and the bulging triceps,
i think madonna had a point.

the cud?

so i bought some shorts a while back, they're quite nice,a little nautical, and yes... they are vintage and maybe a little high waisted.
and whilst doing my afternoon wee (4pm on the dot)
i noticed the label.

SUMMER DAIRY
'chew the cud'

where in gods name did these shorts come from?
can i wear them now knowing that they say chew tha cud in the inner lining of the waist band?

its not looking good...

hero

today is hump day.
wednesday.
two days left.. and then its the weekend.

such is the excitment of resuming full time work... a world where you wait for the weekend, and try to fill in the gaps between by looking out the window and surviving tram rides with ticket inspectors.

this morning i alighted the tram after traipsing and glaring obviously about the carriage, trying to spot an inspector. and i did. and i got off. and i waited four minutes for the next tram.

the new adds will probably say-
"have you seen this girl *photo of me -eyes bulging crustliy but with endearingly rosey cheeks-*
she has two outstanding tram fines and lives a life filled with tram *agents* inspector fear and paranoia"

thats all for today.
hump day.

happy brithday sten.

"im watching little people in the hero apartments wander around like there is a polar bear after them, watering their plants, and i can see a chimney thats like a canon. today i am pleased that im up above and away from the street"

you still got that same ol glow raelene

i took these today at the foundry whilst helping anna move studios.
i like them.
and id love to know who raelene is, and if its the wall, if the wall's name is raelene, then it sure is glowing...
or is it from some famous movie that ive never seen...

p.s. i am priviledged to have the links to your right on my blog, i hope none of you are offended to be here... i admire all of your blogging skills immensely...

*to my left i can make out various buildings of the city... to my right there is a very beautiful rooftop, with lots of lichen on the terracotta tiles... and straight ahead through the flywire and the dribbled stains of the timber windows last reparation, there are layers of beautiful green trees against a grey backdrop of flat clouds.*

i would like to have a digital camera, so i could show you all the coloured piles of washing from two months of doing no washing what-so-ever. and yes, that means that i have a lot of clothes, a lot of clothes.

so i sit here waiting for the washing machine to chug through them all, one foot on the computer tower, arse half on the chair, waiting for the climactic thump of the spinning finale.

i would also show you the poem i made from, really old lettered blocks (i bought them in an oppy in brisbane over christmas) which are sitting proudly on the window sill in this configuration. they say;

"I EAT MASHED POO X"
and
"FREDS COME HOME"

i think ill get them published.

im trying to write interesting things but i keep getting distracted by the fact that i have no email surver (i check my email maybe 3 million times a day) and that i wish i was eating chocolate cake in a beautiful beach house with my best friend. thats where he is.

which reminds me, do you all have a number that you constantly use to exaggerate? mine's three, three million i use quite a bit. gen's is eight, or eighteen, and so is stens. so am i the only one that exaggerates in three's?

*THUMP*

washing calls.

hope the view is nice from where you are sitting.

ill give it a go ey?

*the view is dark because i cant be bothered to turn the light on, im backlit by a doorway, and my front is lit by the brightness of the screen. out the window is- blind up- black silhouetted trees with a pink sky from the city lights*

im not making any promises here,
there may be limited interested parties...and thats fine
there may be very little good posture.

but ill see how i go.

why does the melbourne night sky go mushroom pink when it's cloudy.
how come it doesnt go neon blue?

i hope you caught the moon tonight.
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