Alright so today I am bored.
Yes. Three. Posts.
I thought I might revise my resolutions. There really isnt much that is more depressing than re-reading some poor attempt at motivation from six months ago...
1. finish my degree
i bailed and didnt even finish my major project. i took an extra ten weeks and i still couldnt do it. it was possibly the hardest time of my life and i ruined my whole summer. i think i have only just recovered from the trauma.
2. see more movies
this is a good one! ive seen way more movies this year. ive seen so many dvds highlights being good night and goodluck, the hustler (1961), heathers. oh so so many at the cinema, too many to bang on about. ok whats next...
3. get a goddam computer
uh. still working on that baby but it gets closer and closer the more i stay in this godforsaken place (work that is)...
4. year of the debt (recovery from)
well. IVE ALMOST PAID BACK ALL OF MY FRIENDS! this is amazing. it feels great. i know it sounds like im a sucker but because i was studying and everyone was working i was taking up loan offers left right and centre. now i only have, credit card, rmit, and department of infrastructure debts...
5. get a small business grant
well this is one thing that i went to 'see about' and realised i need to have a more refined proposal fro my ebay business. so ill just try and skip this one...
6. finish my degree (did i say that already?)
even more depressing when asked another time.
7. blog
here i am. my other blogs have become null and void though but thats ok...
8. do some more art
im dappling in drawing at the moment.
9. publish some illustrations
hmm. see above.
10. complete another architecture comission
well its underway, a house in northern nsw. its going to be excellent.
11. plan a trip for 2008
well. this one is currently in a planning phase. but hopefully i can get to tokyo, NY, london, paris, rome, sicily. ambitious? me?
now i actually have to do some work...
just listened to:
Jesus and the Mary Chain- my girl;
Silver Jews- pretty eyes;
Brian Eno- needles in the camels eye...
i had a delicious weekend down the coast in venus bay, almost prom country.
we knitted, ate, played jenga, drank wine, went to kongwak markets (highly recommended) and generally lazed about staying warm in the caravan and the combi and the bath house...
romy, anna and sarah performing contemporary
dance on the beach in venus bay, depicting the
'negative pleasure' principle of Emmanual Cant and
the sublime (delicately and eloquently explained to us by natalya) ...
sarah and romy playing on the jetty in tarwin lower,
a glassy river and a frosty sunset
above: sarah(left) and romy jump for the wildlife
-note roo's in the background
xxx
we knitted, ate, played jenga, drank wine, went to kongwak markets (highly recommended) and generally lazed about staying warm in the caravan and the combi and the bath house...
romy, anna and sarah performing contemporary
dance on the beach in venus bay, depicting the
'negative pleasure' principle of Emmanual Cant and
the sublime (delicately and eloquently explained to us by natalya) ...
sarah and romy playing on the jetty in tarwin lower,
a glassy river and a frosty sunset
above: sarah(left) and romy jump for the wildlife
-note roo's in the background
xxx
If I make this post look like a list, and write it in notepad first; I will feel less shit about writing it, instead of drawing details for louvers.
- Yesterday I finished reading 1984. I hadn’t read it before. It made me sad.
- There is a lot to do at my work. Last night I dreamt of louvers.
- At my work there are very very ugly mugs. I've kept the one I like on my desk all week, everyone else puts theirs in a 'grey tub' (of course it’s grey), and they are clean and in the cupboard by the next morning.
- I bring in my own tea; they don’t have earl grey here. Just the worst of the worst: Lipton.
- I am beginning to feel sad about my job.
- Everyone here is boring.
- Very boring. Nice- now only sometimes. But boring.
- Today I brought in raspberry lollies, I was going to bring my teeth lollies, but it would be wasted on the boring people who work here. Can you imagine everyone with fake teeth sitting at their desk that would be funny.
- There is an awkward moment every time you go to get a cup of tea; there are two self closing doors. And if you have cups you have to nudge them open in a very strategic manner otherwise the door will slam and there will be hot tea, water, and some squashed grapes all over you. Sometimes when people are walking through they hold the door for you. You have to say 'thanks'. I hate holding the door open for people when they aren’t holding anything. I just give it an extra shove so it stays open for a second longer but slams shut with extra force.
- Sometimes my ipod makes me feel better.
- Sometimes it makes me feel worse because everyone knows that I don’t want to listen to them talk about footy tipping.
- Sometimes I think about making tea cups.
- Yesterday morning while I was on the most packed tram there ever was an elderly man that got on the tram at the hospital, then a mid thirties man who was red-faced and angry got on the tram and pushed all of us really really hard to get through. He pushed the elderly man. The man fell like a power pole, slow and straight. Everyone put out their hands to catch him. The elderly man put his hand to the bridge of his nose for the rest of the tram ride, in agony or in sadness/embarrassment.
- This doesn’t really look like a list anymore.
- Today on the tram to St. Kilda Rd, at Flinders St (millions of people get on here) a pretty VCA girl got on the tram and a man in a bone coloured suit got on after her, she had her back up against the drivers cabin at the rear of the tram, he got on the tram, with his back to her. The man stood in front of her and then bent, hinged at the hips, and pushed his buttocks into her stomach/hips. She was small and he was enormous. I don’t even think he noticed her.
- Yesterday I finished reading 1984. I hadn’t read it before. It made me sad.
- There is a lot to do at my work. Last night I dreamt of louvers.
- At my work there are very very ugly mugs. I've kept the one I like on my desk all week, everyone else puts theirs in a 'grey tub' (of course it’s grey), and they are clean and in the cupboard by the next morning.
- I bring in my own tea; they don’t have earl grey here. Just the worst of the worst: Lipton.
- I am beginning to feel sad about my job.
- Everyone here is boring.
- Very boring. Nice- now only sometimes. But boring.
- Today I brought in raspberry lollies, I was going to bring my teeth lollies, but it would be wasted on the boring people who work here. Can you imagine everyone with fake teeth sitting at their desk that would be funny.
- There is an awkward moment every time you go to get a cup of tea; there are two self closing doors. And if you have cups you have to nudge them open in a very strategic manner otherwise the door will slam and there will be hot tea, water, and some squashed grapes all over you. Sometimes when people are walking through they hold the door for you. You have to say 'thanks'. I hate holding the door open for people when they aren’t holding anything. I just give it an extra shove so it stays open for a second longer but slams shut with extra force.
- Sometimes my ipod makes me feel better.
- Sometimes it makes me feel worse because everyone knows that I don’t want to listen to them talk about footy tipping.
- Sometimes I think about making tea cups.
- Yesterday morning while I was on the most packed tram there ever was an elderly man that got on the tram at the hospital, then a mid thirties man who was red-faced and angry got on the tram and pushed all of us really really hard to get through. He pushed the elderly man. The man fell like a power pole, slow and straight. Everyone put out their hands to catch him. The elderly man put his hand to the bridge of his nose for the rest of the tram ride, in agony or in sadness/embarrassment.
- This doesn’t really look like a list anymore.
- Today on the tram to St. Kilda Rd, at Flinders St (millions of people get on here) a pretty VCA girl got on the tram and a man in a bone coloured suit got on after her, she had her back up against the drivers cabin at the rear of the tram, he got on the tram, with his back to her. The man stood in front of her and then bent, hinged at the hips, and pushed his buttocks into her stomach/hips. She was small and he was enormous. I don’t even think he noticed her.
I want to go on that big Ferris wheel where the river bends... it looks so beautiful from the
Princes Bridge every night on the tram. It explodes in multi coloured fireworks incessantly.
Reflecting in the reading glasses of other passengers.
But I've heard it’s too bright up there, and you can’t see anything for all the lights flashing
and throbbing around your flying chair.
Princes Bridge every night on the tram. It explodes in multi coloured fireworks incessantly.
Reflecting in the reading glasses of other passengers.
But I've heard it’s too bright up there, and you can’t see anything for all the lights flashing
and throbbing around your flying chair.
The lost love's voice or touch triggers wanting, needing, craving in the same spots in the brain as those affected by cocaine.
I have a slither of view in the gap between the building I'm in and the building that I face.
If I crook my neck around to the left, I can see the West Gate Bridge, and if I lean forward and look left I can see the Power Station. With candy stripes on its tip. I can see the South Melbourne flats if I lean back on my chair dangerously and look left, with their 90s peach paint job.
I've been watching the clouds roll in in waves all morning. Sometimes I try and imagine the clouds like they appear in satellite images.
Looking in front of me, it’s so dark outside; I can see my reflection in the window like a mirror. My face sits insipid and translucent beyond the strands of fluffy grass I picked on site and chucked in a tumbler. The grass is at a height where it looks like its tickling my nose in the reflection. If I slouch it looks like it graces my head, an elegant fascinator.
Square fluorescent lights fly above me in rows, marching off in perfect perspective.
My face in amongst the beige, windowless, pre-cast concrete panels the building next door.
If I crook my neck around to the left, I can see the West Gate Bridge, and if I lean forward and look left I can see the Power Station. With candy stripes on its tip. I can see the South Melbourne flats if I lean back on my chair dangerously and look left, with their 90s peach paint job.
I've been watching the clouds roll in in waves all morning. Sometimes I try and imagine the clouds like they appear in satellite images.
Looking in front of me, it’s so dark outside; I can see my reflection in the window like a mirror. My face sits insipid and translucent beyond the strands of fluffy grass I picked on site and chucked in a tumbler. The grass is at a height where it looks like its tickling my nose in the reflection. If I slouch it looks like it graces my head, an elegant fascinator.
Square fluorescent lights fly above me in rows, marching off in perfect perspective.
My face in amongst the beige, windowless, pre-cast concrete panels the building next door.
you know you are bored when...
you have checked your favourite blobs at least three times each and they haven't been updated.
you have planned the next FIVE weekends. breakfast, lunch and dinner.
you have wandered back and forth from the kitchen twenty gazillion times only to realise there is no way you can drink more tea, so you have to tip out the last one mid way and make another one.
after reading every single 'news wire' you email your friends about what you all refer to as 'hunger wrath' at its extreme in a pizza restaurant in California (involving a machete).
you lament lost friendships whilst drawing purple lines in your ever friendly computer program.
you sit staring out the window waiting for the sparkling trickle of lights across the west gate bridge and write the time down to see if it was different from yesterday.
you wonder why you wanted to write golden gate bridge instead of west gate, you don't know anyone in San Francisco.
you wonder if it would be annoying to call your boyfriend again on his day off... only to whisper through the mouthpiece due to the proximity of everyone around you...
you wonder if it would be that harmful to come to work hungover again tomorrow.
maybe i wouldn't be so bored then.
you have checked your favourite blobs at least three times each and they haven't been updated.
you have planned the next FIVE weekends. breakfast, lunch and dinner.
you have wandered back and forth from the kitchen twenty gazillion times only to realise there is no way you can drink more tea, so you have to tip out the last one mid way and make another one.
after reading every single 'news wire' you email your friends about what you all refer to as 'hunger wrath' at its extreme in a pizza restaurant in California (involving a machete).
you lament lost friendships whilst drawing purple lines in your ever friendly computer program.
you sit staring out the window waiting for the sparkling trickle of lights across the west gate bridge and write the time down to see if it was different from yesterday.
you wonder why you wanted to write golden gate bridge instead of west gate, you don't know anyone in San Francisco.
you wonder if it would be annoying to call your boyfriend again on his day off... only to whisper through the mouthpiece due to the proximity of everyone around you...
you wonder if it would be that harmful to come to work hungover again tomorrow.
maybe i wouldn't be so bored then.
these are a few of my favourite things;
today;
watching window washers on buildings across from me
listening to music that would be completely inappropriate in the office on my ipod. eg. the cramps, sonic youth noise, the birthday party etc.
pranking people in the various other parts of the office. im sure they will catch on soon, but for now, while im new, ill do it some more.
sneaking out of the office when im hungover and eating a toasted sandwhich in an odd place across the road, coming back and no one notices.
last week;
playing uno with jack in the domain gardens in sydney and watching the 1000's of bats fly overhead, listening to their wings and sighs is beautiful
going to the brett whitely gallery in surrey hils and looking at all the beautiful things, his taxidermy birds and wind up chattering teeth
weaving through the rocks and touching all the old hand cut stone with so many stories
going to ariel bookstore late in the night time
watching tug boats nuzzle giant cargo ships filled with cars and guide them out of the harbour
generally;
eating teeth lollies, and alternating raspberry lollies and milk bottle lollies (so much better
than strawberries and cream)
earl grey tea and ginger snaps
massaman beef curry
mandarins
the microphones- the singers albumn.
taking photos on my heavy 1964 RICOH camera
meeting new little babies, fleischi are your twins here?
xx
today;
watching window washers on buildings across from me
listening to music that would be completely inappropriate in the office on my ipod. eg. the cramps, sonic youth noise, the birthday party etc.
pranking people in the various other parts of the office. im sure they will catch on soon, but for now, while im new, ill do it some more.
sneaking out of the office when im hungover and eating a toasted sandwhich in an odd place across the road, coming back and no one notices.
last week;
playing uno with jack in the domain gardens in sydney and watching the 1000's of bats fly overhead, listening to their wings and sighs is beautiful
going to the brett whitely gallery in surrey hils and looking at all the beautiful things, his taxidermy birds and wind up chattering teeth
weaving through the rocks and touching all the old hand cut stone with so many stories
going to ariel bookstore late in the night time
watching tug boats nuzzle giant cargo ships filled with cars and guide them out of the harbour
generally;
eating teeth lollies, and alternating raspberry lollies and milk bottle lollies (so much better
than strawberries and cream)
earl grey tea and ginger snaps
massaman beef curry
mandarins
the microphones- the singers albumn.
taking photos on my heavy 1964 RICOH camera
meeting new little babies, fleischi are your twins here?
xx
revolving doors are my new home on st kilda road. i go to draw buildings on the yarra, where there is every kind of tie, suit, pointy pump and watermelon tee. there is a sales and marketing department where i work. there are all the printers, stationary and all the resources i could ever want.
but there are ties, pointy shoes and swipey access cards. i feel very untidy and off colour amongst these fit, corporate people.
most are nice.
its day three over.
im still not sure what i think of it all yet. i sat through a meeting yesterday and laughed, out loud, at the situation i was in. very very odd. and very different from working for the struggling architects of the city.
on other news, julio is open and nice. there is still one thing to do, which is a little thing on the wall but go, go and eat and drink. 171 miller st, north fitz.
but there are ties, pointy shoes and swipey access cards. i feel very untidy and off colour amongst these fit, corporate people.
most are nice.
its day three over.
im still not sure what i think of it all yet. i sat through a meeting yesterday and laughed, out loud, at the situation i was in. very very odd. and very different from working for the struggling architects of the city.
***
on other news, julio is open and nice. there is still one thing to do, which is a little thing on the wall but go, go and eat and drink. 171 miller st, north fitz.
***
murray is back from two months in thailand. which is very excellent.
still in love.
thats all i guess.
im glad dell is back blogging.
she makes me want to blog.
lovelovelove
murray is back from two months in thailand. which is very excellent.
still in love.
thats all i guess.
im glad dell is back blogging.
she makes me want to blog.
lovelovelove
oh.
today is one of those days where the computer that i work on does that thing before a meeting and then you have to cancel. then you have to retrieve all the work you did today, somehow from the 'virtual' memory and dislodge it (i havent tried this yet).
its the shittest thing ever.
on the bright side i was looking at this lovely little blog by one stringbeanjean who had a go with yoko and john. tried that little formula that you used to justify a crush in early high school. inscribed in the front of your folder in amongst the posters of johnny depp or mark wahlberg.
i got 99% which is about right as we are stupendous.
i hope your 'straya day was fun. we had barbecues and then went and saw an odd line up which included st. helens at the tote. they were great. an all-star line up melbourne supergroup you could say...
today is one of those days where the computer that i work on does that thing before a meeting and then you have to cancel. then you have to retrieve all the work you did today, somehow from the 'virtual' memory and dislodge it (i havent tried this yet).
its the shittest thing ever.
on the bright side i was looking at this lovely little blog by one stringbeanjean who had a go with yoko and john. tried that little formula that you used to justify a crush in early high school. inscribed in the front of your folder in amongst the posters of johnny depp or mark wahlberg.
i got 99% which is about right as we are stupendous.
i hope your 'straya day was fun. we had barbecues and then went and saw an odd line up which included st. helens at the tote. they were great. an all-star line up melbourne supergroup you could say...
today was a day for a fruit retrieval mission.
we were out of peaches and nectarines.
i had found a peach tree on tuesday, with little fruit and i went to get the rest of it.
and then i decided to head a little further afield.
brunswick east provided. after all these years of struggle with the north
carlton 'pomegranates' and 'mirabella plums' (hardly satisfying)
i came across 'public' fat juicy nectarines, little apples, limes, and peaches.
all within reach!
soon the figs will be ready, i have a memory map of where they are.
i also met a nanna's cat and the biggest succulent i have ever seen (taller than me)
a good outing, as i dont get out much these days.
xx
ive decided to work at home, that way i have more chance of starting work at an early hour and finishing at a late hour...
thats how it will work isnt it?
ive had a sad couple of days, no money, lots of bills, too much study, too nice a holiday, abandonment by my business partner (i am now on my own)
next week i have a job interview will the devil. a large company that will pay me money. but alas, i may have to sell my soul for six months.
im still in love though so thats keeping me alive.
enough with the procrastination...
happy wednesday.
xxx
thats how it will work isnt it?
ive had a sad couple of days, no money, lots of bills, too much study, too nice a holiday, abandonment by my business partner (i am now on my own)
next week i have a job interview will the devil. a large company that will pay me money. but alas, i may have to sell my soul for six months.
im still in love though so thats keeping me alive.
enough with the procrastination...
happy wednesday.
xxx
1. finish my degree
2. see more movies
3. get a goddam computer
4. year of the debt (recovery from)
5. get a small business grant
6. finish my degree (did i say that already?)
7. blog
8. do some more art
9. publish some illustrations
10. complete another architecture comission
11. plan a trip for 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
i had a perfect new years in a caravan down at venus bay. not just any caravan, but a 1960s caravan, that was once an aeroplane fuselage... it was magnificent. there was mojitos, beach, stars, and other things.
now i am wel rested after a two week break, half in venus bay, half in halliday bay (central queensland).
i hope you all had a lovely holiday, and that all tensions were averted.
lovelovelove
p.s. this heat may easiliy whip me out of my relaxed state in no time!
2. see more movies
3. get a goddam computer
4. year of the debt (recovery from)
5. get a small business grant
6. finish my degree (did i say that already?)
7. blog
8. do some more art
9. publish some illustrations
10. complete another architecture comission
11. plan a trip for 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
i had a perfect new years in a caravan down at venus bay. not just any caravan, but a 1960s caravan, that was once an aeroplane fuselage... it was magnificent. there was mojitos, beach, stars, and other things.
now i am wel rested after a two week break, half in venus bay, half in halliday bay (central queensland).
i hope you all had a lovely holiday, and that all tensions were averted.
lovelovelove
p.s. this heat may easiliy whip me out of my relaxed state in no time!
its been a while.
sorry.
im so up and down at the moment, my life is like a flight to hobart, one hour, ten trips a day, up, down, sideways, bumpy, soaring (enough with the analogy)... i think (know) its tiring to the people around me.
on friday night i worked til 4am. and went and banged (beeped) on the door of my love and slept. i woke to pancakes (under my onlooking instruction) and constant encouragement.
amidst the 'i cant do this' (re: uni deadline) blurry tears i got so many smiles, maple syrup and encouragement. just the right amounts of stern looks and sympathy
this is how i still exist.
people out there still have faith in me... and they love me (though im sure im trying them...) ... and that is what matters.
the cafe that murray and i (we are calling ourselves i-i) have designed is currently being built. its the first time anything that i have designed has been built without being overseen. its an amazing feeling. and nerve wracking. the rest of the project is nearly drawn...
and the cafe will be made, done, dusted, glittering, [all with flattering light so you can have dates there] and ready in 4-6weeks. see you there for ten coffees all summer.
my project is good. its a little undercooked and a little overwrought, but its good. just good though not excellent. on friday i sat at the computer with two helpers, holding back the breakdown and staring absently for 18hours. its hard. ive had enough. 7 years of architecture is too long. hanging over my head like a saggy kite with no wind.
my other projects include, a vintage clothing business and website under construction. we have been buying stock, washing, cleaning, making tags, making stamps, sorting, photographing, playing dress ups and generally having so much fun. im doing that with my friend Karen. we start on ebay this week, its a little rough but still excellent and our site will be up in Jan. and will be FANtastic. we are called Lalka & Prince.
um. thats all.
been doing a drawing a day to keep the blues away. i like drawing animals at the moment... this is a nice one...
lovelovelovelove.
p.s. its a coyote not a wolf.
sorry.
im so up and down at the moment, my life is like a flight to hobart, one hour, ten trips a day, up, down, sideways, bumpy, soaring (enough with the analogy)... i think (know) its tiring to the people around me.
on friday night i worked til 4am. and went and banged (beeped) on the door of my love and slept. i woke to pancakes (under my onlooking instruction) and constant encouragement.
amidst the 'i cant do this' (re: uni deadline) blurry tears i got so many smiles, maple syrup and encouragement. just the right amounts of stern looks and sympathy
this is how i still exist.
people out there still have faith in me... and they love me (though im sure im trying them...) ... and that is what matters.
the cafe that murray and i (we are calling ourselves i-i) have designed is currently being built. its the first time anything that i have designed has been built without being overseen. its an amazing feeling. and nerve wracking. the rest of the project is nearly drawn...
and the cafe will be made, done, dusted, glittering, [all with flattering light so you can have dates there] and ready in 4-6weeks. see you there for ten coffees all summer.
my project is good. its a little undercooked and a little overwrought, but its good. just good though not excellent. on friday i sat at the computer with two helpers, holding back the breakdown and staring absently for 18hours. its hard. ive had enough. 7 years of architecture is too long. hanging over my head like a saggy kite with no wind.
my other projects include, a vintage clothing business and website under construction. we have been buying stock, washing, cleaning, making tags, making stamps, sorting, photographing, playing dress ups and generally having so much fun. im doing that with my friend Karen. we start on ebay this week, its a little rough but still excellent and our site will be up in Jan. and will be FANtastic. we are called Lalka & Prince.
um. thats all.
been doing a drawing a day to keep the blues away. i like drawing animals at the moment... this is a nice one...
lovelovelovelove.
p.s. its a coyote not a wolf.
things that have happened in the last month:
i have fallen in love
i have started a business in vintage clothing
i have learnt the value of garage sale'in in brighton/elsternwick
i have learnt that i too easily and quickly try to fix old hurts and it doesnt work that well
i have become more honest to myself
i have learnt that no matter how hard i try i am too easily tempted by pretty things and as a result never have any money
i have lost all interest in university
i have designed a cafe (with murray)
i have done the best drawings of my life, of little animals
i have learnt that what little i do know about music is a scratch on the surface of a hair on an ape
i have become more anxious about finishing the year and generally more anxious
i have learnt to accept compliments a little easier
i have learnt that next to most people i am insanely domesticated and this scares some people quite a bit...
i turn 25 in approximately 3 weeks.
scary. and im going to be a bridesmaid.
hope you are well blobbers.
where did the year go?
i have fallen in love
i have started a business in vintage clothing
i have learnt the value of garage sale'in in brighton/elsternwick
i have learnt that i too easily and quickly try to fix old hurts and it doesnt work that well
i have become more honest to myself
i have learnt that no matter how hard i try i am too easily tempted by pretty things and as a result never have any money
i have lost all interest in university
i have designed a cafe (with murray)
i have done the best drawings of my life, of little animals
i have learnt that what little i do know about music is a scratch on the surface of a hair on an ape
i have become more anxious about finishing the year and generally more anxious
i have learnt to accept compliments a little easier
i have learnt that next to most people i am insanely domesticated and this scares some people quite a bit...
i turn 25 in approximately 3 weeks.
scary. and im going to be a bridesmaid.
hope you are well blobbers.
where did the year go?
our house is turning into a reagular menagerie... we have a rabbit and fish, which is highly normal. our downstairs neighbour has two snakes, slippery and judy, and two tropical parrots ruby and max.
now we are getting two chickens.
bill, our downstairs neighbour, has a friend who breeds chickens and we are going to have some...
i cant wait to have fresh eggs... and little chickens clucking about. saving up eggs for a cake will be the best part of my week.
lovelovelovelove
p.s. Q&A re: blogging ettiquite. are you responsible for the feelings of the people who read your blog? how do you negate expressing your feelings? do you censor your blog to make people who may read it happy?
now we are getting two chickens.
bill, our downstairs neighbour, has a friend who breeds chickens and we are going to have some...
i cant wait to have fresh eggs... and little chickens clucking about. saving up eggs for a cake will be the best part of my week.
lovelovelovelove
p.s. Q&A re: blogging ettiquite. are you responsible for the feelings of the people who read your blog? how do you negate expressing your feelings? do you censor your blog to make people who may read it happy?
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