merry christmas!

Shit Town

Its been a bleak period, but I've gotten through it with the help of my beautiful friends.
Bleak why? Well its the old 'lost love' bag. The kind that leaves you feeling a deep sense of sadness. Break-ups. I can only think of shit-town as a way to describe it all. I've just spent three weeks in shit-town.

The place where you go to sleep. Be silent. Be still. Be salty faced.
Anna said that i could stop the de-salination plant in Wonthaggi and have one right there on my face for a while. But she is a poet. She also has kept me alive.
Shit-town has only three buildings. There really isn't anyone in them. They stand there sad and saggy. Shit-town is in a ditch. A dusty depression in the road. With hills either side. Shit-town has Hotel California playing in the background, and you hate it, and want it to stop.
Shit town is sitting in the car in the dusty rain and people tapping on the windscreen. Wanting to get you out. Wanting you to get out of the car. Shit-town is having your seat belt stuck while in the car and everyone is tapping on the windscreen and you want to get out but it wont budge and you want to get out but you're energy is way low.
Shit-town is only escapable because someone told everyone to be quiet and notioned to me to wind down the window for air. Rolling their arms and wrists in a way that makes you realise what you are doing and that the fact you are in Shit-town is escapable.
Your survival instincts kick in.

And now your ears burn, and you are hungry for touch and the hardest thing to do is to change your relationship status on facebook. And take off your pink suede shoes. But you are ok. Everything will be OK.

Then you host the best party in the history of parties, the one you have been planning for months....

and you spend all day making amazing food...

and your amazing friend lends you an amazing pink dress...

and lots of beautiful people come and you feel happy to know them... some of them even work the bar...

and you dance to soul music til dawn and drink two cases of champagne... and you realise yes. everything is good.


sorry for all the grammar and tense and whining. but im glad ive got that outta my system...
and im counting down the christmas days...



a few snippets from the last weekend at somers.
what a brilliant result for the election! im so happy.
and another camping trip to kennett river this weekend!

summer adventures.


beautiful treasures from the sea...

romy and rosie and the rock pools

animals at the antique barn

tennis club

oh. jesus. im scared. im running away.
it is election day.

if not for the t-shirt above i may have lost all hope last week. jack has developed a penchant for sequins. this is possibly the best t-shirt i have ever seen. if only i played tennis. i could bedazzle my opponent with glittering distraction. it might detract from my useless flailing.

lots of good things have happened since i was here last.

i quit my job. what a relief. its was more stressful than i anticipated though.
i finish at the end of the year and i have another job lined up, i think.

i got older. and for that i got a camera as a present. and lots of excellent other things.
i think blogging will be much more interesting with pictoral representations, as opposed to me blubbering and spluttering to describe things.

well. now im off to somers- the beach! the sunshine! to mutter prayers to god that the nation might wake up and see the doddering old fool they have running the country.

ill leave you with our exciting new friend!
an excellent couch i bought at the salvo's this week....

x x
there are so many birthdays and events at the moment,
tonight i went to dell's opening at alice euphemia. it was so beautiful!
i couldn't decide what bunch/hand of bananas i wanted to buy so i have to go back.
a friend bought a pineapple, another a parrot, another an x.
sound tropical? go see.

ummm. and. now that ive had too many champagne's
ill just say that this is amazing and this is my favourite;

I just caught the tail end of the Guggenheim collection at the NGV. I cant say why it took me so long- its been here for months... I think that is just my style, always at the very last minute.
When seeing shows, movies, etc i try to read as little as possible about them so I can cast my eyes over them unaffected.

Whilst not reading about this exhibition I was unaware that this piece was in the show. It was a brilliant surprise. My favourite artist.

Im still wide-eyed and excited, face covered in a childish grin, like a little one who got the best toy from the bubblegum machine.

There were so many excellent pieces there that I knew about and had the chance to see in the flesh, Sol Le Witt, Flavin, Judd, Serra. I don't know what I will do when I finally get the chance to go to the Guggenheim(s). I know people came out disappointed, perhaps I am easily impressed. But I thought it was excellent.
"The couple had said that if either one of them cheated on the other, he or she would have to die,"
Working working. Today i had a little time to stop. A sleep in. It's been so long!

I live across the road from a duck pond. It had families of ducks in it all last year, before it was emptied due to drought. Native ducks and English ducks. Huddled on man made rocky knobs. Families would come and feed the ducks bread during day, little faces lighting up with the delight of watching a duck snatch bread from the water, shaking it dry and gobbling it down.

In the late evening, whilest in bed at around 11pm i used to hear the 'goodnight call' a stern QUACK quackquaquaquaacck. If you see me ask for a demonstration, it was delightful.

Alas, at the end of summer the pond was empty, and i had a 'catcher in rye' taxi driver moment, where do the ducks go when the pond is empty?

During this winter the rain filled the pond slightly and to my delight a pair of ducks returned to the pond. Last week the water in the pond had a turn and was filled with algae. This happened overnight. It was emptied by the park, I guess.

Today whilst walking to my tram, i saw a mother duck and two little ducklings. Traversing the grass. Two little balls of fluffy feathers, tiny wings, huddled under the mothers rear. Sticking close to the Lawn Bowles Club hedge.

I was delighted, then at once sad, I remembered there is no water in the pond. I ran through the possibilties... buckets from the laundry?

Today I am wishing for rain and pray that it will fill the pond. So, until the little ducklings can fly, they may learn to swim.

Tara Donovan, Untitled, Styrofoam Cups, Hot Glue, 2003 via this beautiful blog
he was heading for Germany to see his girlfriend
today is the first day in a long time where i feel in control,
like everything is going to be ok. good even.

the aftermath
moray st, new farm QLD
aug 2007

i awoke with the imprint of jewels on my back
bedroom, bowen cres.
august 2007

afternoon tea
thomana, carlton
feb 2005
im not going to say much for a while.
im just going to start to post some of my polaroids- new and old. they are all pretty special.
i hope you like them.


looking forward to the eclipse

Its been a funny weekend. The sky was so so blue.
There is something strange that happens when the first days of solid sun come to Melbourne.
Couples break up, we all teeter on the edge of new life, new beginnings.

Yesterday was a funny day. I sported my 'clown' dress, with the palate of a lollipop.
Dubbed the 'colour bandit', I wandered the streets, hungover, in search of ginger beer, killer pythons and watching EVERYONE eat their ice creams. Frosty Fruits, Icy Poles and Cornettos.

I fought with my love, demanding more time from him. He is working too hard, im not working hard enough. We've been going out for a year, its heavenly, yet I selfishly demand more.

My mum is crazy.
She called me in the middle of the night last night because she knew i would answer. She lives on the Gold Coast and has just made a life changing decision to become a chef. She is working in a restaurant called 'flames' i think.

"hello darling" (slightly slurred speech)
"huh hhi mum" lying down, only just keeping phone to ear "whats wrong? is everything ok?"
"yes i just knew that if i called you in the middle of the night you would pick up... so can you call me on tuesday night? will you be home then?"
slightly enraged but too tired to talk "ok. um yeah ill be home. ill call you then..."
"kisses, i love you"
"i love you too mum, bye"
a November election



ooooh the last night at the 411 studio... dancing til late and many many shenanigans...

so im hungover and at work.
sore head. sore legs. sore arms.

this weekend there is a pie festival at my house. i am the convener and administrator...
it is the 'inaugural annual festival of the pie 2007'
these are the participants pies:

Granny's Fish Pie

Boysenberry Pie

Cheese Pie

Chicken and Vegetable Pie

Lentil Pommes Duchesses Pie

Lemon Merangue Pie

Beef and Mushroom Pie

Potato Artichoke and Leek Tart
Spinach and Cheese Pie (tbc)


and there will be prizes for:

Best Presentation

Best Vegetarian Pie

Best Savoury Pie

Best Sweet Pie

Best Story/Anecdote/Fact on 'Pie'

Best Original Adaptation of Pie Recipe/Original Pie recipe

Pie Cutting Competition

i hope your weekends are as warm and delicious as mine!!!


for sleep club

SLEEP 2007 - the 21st annual meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies.
The Inupiat have long said that bowhead whales live for the equivalent of two human lifetimes, George said.
Alright so today I am bored.
Yes. Three. Posts.
I thought I might revise my resolutions. There really isnt much that is more depressing than re-reading some poor attempt at motivation from six months ago...

1. finish my degree
i bailed and didnt even finish my major project. i took an extra ten weeks and i still couldnt do it. it was possibly the hardest time of my life and i ruined my whole summer. i think i have only just recovered from the trauma.

2. see more movies
this is a good one! ive seen way more movies this year. ive seen so many dvds highlights being good night and goodluck, the hustler (1961), heathers. oh so so many at the cinema, too many to bang on about. ok whats next...

3. get a goddam computer
uh. still working on that baby but it gets closer and closer the more i stay in this godforsaken place (work that is)...

4. year of the debt (recovery from)
well. IVE ALMOST PAID BACK ALL OF MY FRIENDS! this is amazing. it feels great. i know it sounds like im a sucker but because i was studying and everyone was working i was taking up loan offers left right and centre. now i only have, credit card, rmit, and department of infrastructure debts...

5. get a small business grant
well this is one thing that i went to 'see about' and realised i need to have a more refined proposal fro my ebay business. so ill just try and skip this one...

6. finish my degree (did i say that already?)
even more depressing when asked another time.

7. blog
here i am. my other blogs have become null and void though but thats ok...

8. do some more art
im dappling in drawing at the moment.

9. publish some illustrations
hmm. see above.

10. complete another architecture comission
well its underway, a house in northern nsw. its going to be excellent.

11. plan a trip for 2008
well. this one is currently in a planning phase. but hopefully i can get to tokyo, NY, london, paris, rome, sicily. ambitious? me?

now i actually have to do some work...

just listened to:
Jesus and the Mary Chain- my girl;
Silver Jews- pretty eyes;
Brian Eno- needles in the camels eye...
i had a delicious weekend down the coast in venus bay, almost prom country.
we knitted, ate, played jenga, drank wine, went to kongwak markets (highly recommended) and generally lazed about staying warm in the caravan and the combi and the bath house...

romy, anna and sarah performing contemporary
dance on the beach in venus bay, depicting the
'negative pleasure' principle of Emmanual Cant and
the sublime (delicately and eloquently explained to us by natalya) ...

sarah and romy playing on the jetty in tarwin lower,
a glassy river and a frosty sunset

above: sarah(left) and romy jump for the wildlife
-note roo's in the background


If I make this post look like a list, and write it in notepad first; I will feel less shit about writing it, instead of drawing details for louvers.

- Yesterday I finished reading 1984. I hadn’t read it before. It made me sad.

- There is a lot to do at my work. Last night I dreamt of louvers.

- At my work there are very very ugly mugs. I've kept the one I like on my desk all week, everyone else puts theirs in a 'grey tub' (of course it’s grey), and they are clean and in the cupboard by the next morning.

- I bring in my own tea; they don’t have earl grey here. Just the worst of the worst: Lipton.

- I am beginning to feel sad about my job.

- Everyone here is boring.

- Very boring. Nice- now only sometimes. But boring.

- Today I brought in raspberry lollies, I was going to bring my teeth lollies, but it would be wasted on the boring people who work here. Can you imagine everyone with fake teeth sitting at their desk that would be funny.

- There is an awkward moment every time you go to get a cup of tea; there are two self closing doors. And if you have cups you have to nudge them open in a very strategic manner otherwise the door will slam and there will be hot tea, water, and some squashed grapes all over you. Sometimes when people are walking through they hold the door for you. You have to say 'thanks'. I hate holding the door open for people when they aren’t holding anything. I just give it an extra shove so it stays open for a second longer but slams shut with extra force.

- Sometimes my ipod makes me feel better.

- Sometimes it makes me feel worse because everyone knows that I don’t want to listen to them talk about footy tipping.

- Sometimes I think about making tea cups.

- Yesterday morning while I was on the most packed tram there ever was an elderly man that got on the tram at the hospital, then a mid thirties man who was red-faced and angry got on the tram and pushed all of us really really hard to get through. He pushed the elderly man. The man fell like a power pole, slow and straight. Everyone put out their hands to catch him. The elderly man put his hand to the bridge of his nose for the rest of the tram ride, in agony or in sadness/embarrassment.

- This doesn’t really look like a list anymore.

- Today on the tram to St. Kilda Rd, at Flinders St (millions of people get on here) a pretty VCA girl got on the tram and a man in a bone coloured suit got on after her, she had her back up against the drivers cabin at the rear of the tram, he got on the tram, with his back to her. The man stood in front of her and then bent, hinged at the hips, and pushed his buttocks into her stomach/hips. She was small and he was enormous. I don’t even think he noticed her.


I want to go on that big Ferris wheel where the river bends... it looks so beautiful from the
Princes Bridge every night on the tram. It explodes in multi coloured fireworks incessantly.
Reflecting in the reading glasses of other passengers.

But I've heard it’s too bright up there, and you can’t see anything for all the lights flashing
and throbbing around your flying chair.

The lost love's voice or touch triggers wanting, needing, craving in the same spots in the brain as those affected by cocaine.
I have a slither of view in the gap between the building I'm in and the building that I face.
If I crook my neck around to the left, I can see the West Gate Bridge, and if I lean forward and look left I can see the Power Station. With candy stripes on its tip. I can see the South Melbourne flats if I lean back on my chair dangerously and look left, with their 90s peach paint job.

I've been watching the clouds roll in in waves all morning. Sometimes I try and imagine the clouds like they appear in satellite images.

Looking in front of me, it’s so dark outside; I can see my reflection in the window like a mirror. My face sits insipid and translucent beyond the strands of fluffy grass I picked on site and chucked in a tumbler. The grass is at a height where it looks like its tickling my nose in the reflection. If I slouch it looks like it graces my head, an elegant fascinator.

Square fluorescent lights fly above me in rows, marching off in perfect perspective.

My face in amongst the beige, windowless, pre-cast concrete panels the building next door.

bored... again?

you know you are bored when...

you have checked your favourite blobs at least three times each and they haven't been updated.
you have planned the next FIVE weekends. breakfast, lunch and dinner.
you have wandered back and forth from the kitchen twenty gazillion times only to realise there is no way you can drink more tea, so you have to tip out the last one mid way and make another one.
after reading every single 'news wire' you email your friends about what you all refer to as 'hunger wrath' at its extreme in a pizza restaurant in California (involving a machete).
you lament lost friendships whilst drawing purple lines in your ever friendly computer program.
you sit staring out the window waiting for the sparkling trickle of lights across the west gate bridge and write the time down to see if it was different from yesterday.
you wonder why you wanted to write golden gate bridge instead of west gate, you don't know anyone in San Francisco.
you wonder if it would be annoying to call your boyfriend again on his day off... only to whisper through the mouthpiece due to the proximity of everyone around you...
you wonder if it would be that harmful to come to work hungover again tomorrow.

maybe i wouldn't be so bored then.

miranda july

these are a few of my favourite things;


watching window washers on buildings across from me

listening to music that would be completely inappropriate in the office on my ipod. eg. the cramps, sonic youth noise, the birthday party etc.

pranking people in the various other parts of the office. im sure they will catch on soon, but for now, while im new, ill do it some more.

sneaking out of the office when im hungover and eating a toasted sandwhich in an odd place across the road, coming back and no one notices.

last week;

playing uno with jack in the domain gardens in sydney and watching the 1000's of bats fly overhead, listening to their wings and sighs is beautiful

going to the brett whitely gallery in surrey hils and looking at all the beautiful things, his taxidermy birds and wind up chattering teeth

weaving through the rocks and touching all the old hand cut stone with so many stories
going to ariel bookstore late in the night time

watching tug boats nuzzle giant cargo ships filled with cars and guide them out of the harbour


eating teeth lollies, and alternating raspberry lollies and milk bottle lollies (so much better
than strawberries and cream)

earl grey tea and ginger snaps

massaman beef curry


the microphones- the singers albumn.

taking photos on my heavy 1964 RICOH camera

meeting new little babies, fleischi are your twins here?


and i thought id show you my back stairs, just to lighten things up a little...
i love them.

revolving doors are my new home on st kilda road. i go to draw buildings on the yarra, where there is every kind of tie, suit, pointy pump and watermelon tee. there is a sales and marketing department where i work. there are all the printers, stationary and all the resources i could ever want.

but there are ties, pointy shoes and swipey access cards. i feel very untidy and off colour amongst these fit, corporate people.

most are nice.

its day three over.

im still not sure what i think of it all yet. i sat through a meeting yesterday and laughed, out loud, at the situation i was in. very very odd. and very different from working for the struggling architects of the city.


on other news, julio is open and nice. there is still one thing to do, which is a little thing on the wall but go, go and eat and drink. 171 miller st, north fitz.

murray is back from two months in thailand. which is very excellent.
still in love.
thats all i guess.
im glad dell is back blogging.
she makes me want to blog.


oh oh and then there was 99.


today is one of those days where the computer that i work on does that thing before a meeting and then you have to cancel. then you have to retrieve all the work you did today, somehow from the 'virtual' memory and dislodge it (i havent tried this yet).

its the shittest thing ever.

on the bright side i was looking at this lovely little blog by one stringbeanjean who had a go with yoko and john. tried that little formula that you used to justify a crush in early high school. inscribed in the front of your folder in amongst the posters of johnny depp or mark wahlberg.

i got 99% which is about right as we are stupendous.

i hope your 'straya day was fun. we had barbecues and then went and saw an odd line up which included st. helens at the tote. they were great. an all-star line up melbourne supergroup you could say...


today was a day for a fruit retrieval mission.
we were out of peaches and nectarines.

i had found a peach tree on tuesday, with little fruit and i went to get the rest of it.
and then i decided to head a little further afield.

brunswick east provided. after all these years of struggle with the north
carlton 'pomegranates' and 'mirabella plums' (hardly satisfying)
i came across 'public' fat juicy nectarines, little apples, limes, and peaches.
all within reach!

soon the figs will be ready, i have a memory map of where they are.

i also met a nanna's cat and the biggest succulent i have ever seen (taller than me)

a good outing, as i dont get out much these days.

ive decided to work at home, that way i have more chance of starting work at an early hour and finishing at a late hour...
thats how it will work isnt it?

ive had a sad couple of days, no money, lots of bills, too much study, too nice a holiday, abandonment by my business partner (i am now on my own)

next week i have a job interview will the devil. a large company that will pay me money. but alas, i may have to sell my soul for six months.

im still in love though so thats keeping me alive.

enough with the procrastination...

happy wednesday.



1. finish my degree
2. see more movies
3. get a goddam computer
4. year of the debt (recovery from)
5. get a small business grant
6. finish my degree (did i say that already?)
7. blog
8. do some more art
9. publish some illustrations
10. complete another architecture comission
11. plan a trip for 2008


i had a perfect new years in a caravan down at venus bay. not just any caravan, but a 1960s caravan, that was once an aeroplane fuselage... it was magnificent. there was mojitos, beach, stars, and other things.

now i am wel rested after a two week break, half in venus bay, half in halliday bay (central queensland).

i hope you all had a lovely holiday, and that all tensions were averted.


p.s. this heat may easiliy whip me out of my relaxed state in no time!