back to nature

back to nature i got... it was awfully nice.
i went to gorges, rainforest, islands, waterfalls, lakes.
and i went to a rodeo.

the rodeo was different
(different like when you are at picasso and a lady
behind you murmers to a friends, awwoo thats different)
at one point i looked up and realised that teetering on the stands
stood about 300 outback australians
and they all voted for john howard.
all of them.

they all took off their hats and held them to their chest
and it was the first time i had heard a recognisable crowd sing...the national anthem

but we saw bucking bulls and wrestled steers, and i must admit it was exciting.

i ate so much seafood i felt like i could breathe under water.
(i later found out i could not whilst snorkelling off fitzroy island, and swallowing so much salt water my lips were permanantly pursed from the salt)

i saw new things and i realised that the city isnt really all that...
i got back to nature. and i dreamt of building a house, and climbing mountains,
swimming in the local watering holes and spending the whole dry season in a place ive never dreamt of living.


thats what happens when you go on a ten day holiday.

we stayed five nights in a motel as it rained a little.
the hotel was run my an old italian women.
on the first morning at 9am she busted into my room (as check out was at 9:30)
and yelled "you STAY or you GO?" in her thick italian accent.
i was naked and in a compromising position.
we stayed.


now im in melbourne again.
two have my friends are leaving for japan this week and they are going for a year.
thats a long time.
its selfish, but im sad.

i cant join ponies, though i would love to grind to 90s Nelly tunes...
i have a 'i think im turning japanese' emergency farewell party to host..

school started this week and im on the home run...

i hope you are all well.
sorry ive been lax.


how is the view on holiday

its so grey and rainy today, but what do i care?
im going here;

to avoid these;

and watch these;

and hug these;

and do this;

and skinny dip, and laugh, and flick my hair like they do on those adds, and lie on sand, REal sand, white fine sand, and see the backpackers get drunk from where we are, and live on the beach in a campetvan, with the back open to the sea air...

so you might not hear from me for a while...


if all goes according to plan....

NOTHing went according to plan today... nothing.

im still poor, despite month long efforts to get a loan from RMIT

i did a nice drawing and tried to battle technology to submit it to a worthy publication but to no avail, technology and scanning and uni and email all got in the way

i went to an art opening, and decided that i had IMS bad (see below item 10) and there was only one person i could talk to

i tried to get drunk with friends but ended up a floating loner, spending time with people but not the people i craved, and not the time i craved.

i realised that at the 'event' i am having tomorrow there will be little to no one able to attend (this comes with hosting something when some of your friends are away)

i was told after crying in the city waiting for a tram, holding my breath the whole way home, by a man who was talking about his theories on women and how they must 'sit in front of a mirror to touch their arseholes' (!??!#$%) that i was an
"ugly and disgusting woman"

today was not a good day people. i hope that my bad dreams turn good tonight (ive been having some horrid dreams of late nb. scissor stabbing murders)

tiredly yours..

pet hates & irks

1. sending long nice funny emails to people in the middle of a conflict and getting absolutely no response within 24 hours

2. myers MASSIVE HISTORY MAKING SALE and getting stuck behind ten ladies who have all those cards that they ask you for, "myer plus, flybuys, blah blah"

3. library fines

4. people who spell things with an "N for NELLY" type attitude

5. that macs dont have backspace key

6. promising yourself you will do work only to procrastinate while you could be out drinking free booze

7. that the things that i love are NEVER on sale enough. eg. prada parfum, chanel parfum, calvin klein underwear, stella macartney shoes, missoni towels, all these un-neccessary items i dont really need but admire and will NEVER be able to afford

8. people that say um on radio lots

9. the price of polaroid film

10. that i get nervous around people i really really like and get instant mute syndrome (TM)

11. buying a magazine only to find it has ONE good photo shoot

12. that bonsoy soy milk has gone up 50 cents at Coles

13. knitting a cute scarf that took me one whole year and losing it

14. when the tags rip of your tea bags

15. that lindt has changed its packaging, i like flipping open that little top.

16. that blobbing can become consequential

17. op shop boots that have to be worn in... they should be worn in already!

grumpy monkey tonight...
i need a goddam banana...

the problem with quick oats is that they are way too quick

the BLOB

blobbing is DANGEROUS

treasure island

song of the day: fuck treasure island, scout niblett.

home alone. ten coffees in south melbourne. already. with. two. fine. ladies. dancing. in. the. lounge. room. in. my. underclothes. again.

this is where im going in six sleeps.

love love

its a day off

its a day off, i could do things.

i woke up four times this morning, and couldnt get out until
i saw the sun. and then the rain came in.
so now im averaging putting on one item of clothing an hour
and trying to make a cup of tea but to no avail.

the rain makes me want to dye some of my colourful clothes black.

its been a frustrating couple of months
ive been drawing things that dont relate to uni at all and hoping that i can
get away with it

i sort of did get away with it though, with a journal full of dreams hidden away from sight,
and a folio for uni with a couple of maps and things that got handed in.

ive been waiting for a revelation, the kind you get when you know what you should do about things and you dont do it. some people think im strong but when it comes to love, as my mum says its on my SLEEVE. on my goddam sleeve in an hour or so.
and then your tricked. and people tell you tricks and ignore the things they've said before and it all turns into a yucky mush like the bottom of the tomato paste jar when its been left at the back of the fridge.

ive been neglecting everyone. so today i make ammends with my black rabbit. he's up in the apartment running about, making me work for my pats. hide and seek under the bed.

and i catch up on the millions of emails in the world that have stars, month old stars.

and i hope i can be more enthusiastic about things other than my dreamy drawing state.
last night i had a dream that my sister was touching the lense of my camera and i was angry at her. it wasnt very nice. ive been having strange dreams.

the view: many many naked trees, grey sky, black birds, shiny black wet roads, grass growing brown with the lack of light and the drench of rain, the city behing a haze of misty rain.

things to do

8 sleeps til im in tropical paradise
thats right
i cant WAIT for warm breezes cold mountain nights, snorkelling off islands with water like you see in those adds, and storms. i cant wait til i hear the earth moving, rumble grumble, houseshaking thunder of a REAL storm.
not like you get in these parts

isnt it cold?

things to do when on official holidays,

- stack bills in neat piles and hope that this makes it easier to look at them... later
- call all those people you havent talked to in a while
- stay in bed. all day. in the cold. get up for the odd cup of tea...
- use your housemates beautiful computer while she is on holidays
- have baths
- spend WHOLE days at home
- drink all the quince brandy you promised to others
- draw lots of things that arent buildings
- plan to draw lots more things that arent buildings
- blog
- make your myspace profile pretty but hard to read
- drink and guzzle lots of wine on friday nights and look at people like you didnt really mean to look at them
- spend ALL day sifting for treasure in op shops that you have never been in and get things like a $4.50 polaroid camera, cause you dont have enough already? (this is my third) and jumpers, and plates, and tea cups.
- hold up your friend who is falling, and help her out of her strange circumstance, giving her ginormous love hugs and such
- um.
- bake apple cake and not let a little thing like no eggs in the house get in your way
- drink ten million cups of tea
- yes ten million.
- slowly remember how to blog again.

im back. not in black though.
and i have loved reading all your blogs when i havent had the chance to write on my own.
nick told me via sms that my blogs sucked of late.
sorry nick.